So it is Thanksgiving day in twenty minutes and it'll probably be Thanksgiving day by time I finish this post.
Wow. I am so exhausted. Work was really hard on me today. I can't stop thinking about several of the patients that I have had in the past year. My life is so much better then their lives, and yet I always find something to complain about.
However, tonight I am feeling kind of down. It's been a great year, but it has definitely had its trials. Tonight my heart aches for a baby. I wish we could start a family. I can't imagine how Elizabeth of old felt during all the years that she was barren. Or my sister who has lost two babies after birth and has had several miscarriages.
But tonight my heart just aches. I feel as if a spirit is missing from our family. As if my life is just full of work and play but has no real rewards. I know I will be able to bear a child one day, but the waiting has just been so hard these last couple months. Part of me wants to give into fear and proclaim my doubtful soul.
In two weeks I'll be getting my second MRI to see if my tumor is growing or has staid the same. I am so nervous. It was a miracle though, the worker that registered me for the MRI talked about how she had the same tumor twenty years ago. And though it took her seven years to get pregnant, she now has two beautiful girls.
I keep telling myself of these miracles. I keep trying to focus on all the gifts that God has already blessed me with. I must let go and say, "nevertheless, not my will but Thine be done."
I don't know if anyone reads this blog. Part of me wishes someone would hear my cries and see my pain. The other part of me hopes this blog is ignored for the fact that my true character is showing on the day that is supposed to be about giving thanks. Yet here I am, hurting and complaining. And so, for the next two weeks I will do my best to draw a smile on my face, put a skip in my walk, and sing a song of joy. I know this is possible because of two women of whom I love and admire.
The first one is my Aunt Shirley. She has battled cancer for more than a year and a half now. Not only is she a survivor, but she is a winner. I love her attitude in life and how she gets out of bed anyway even though the day may be dreary and painful. She is my hero.
The other person happens to be a coworker of mine. Her name is Brea and she is only 27 years old. I remember several months ago when she confided in me. She told me that a lump had grown in her breast and that she had it removed. She expressed her fears of cancer and other complications. I listened. I was worried for her, but naturally I expected the best. It was only two days later that I had received the news that Brea was positive for breast cancer. My heart sunk. Out of all my coworkers, she seemed to be the sweetest, the most caring and forgiving nurse on the unit. How could she be the one to have to suffer such horror and heartache. And not only did she have to suffer the diagnosis, she suffered it as a single mom of two girls. Last night I saw her at work. Perky and happy as ever, she bounced in an hour early to relieve us day workers. Her head was completely bald. Despite the chemotherapy and other treatments Brea endures. Although she is immunocomprimised, she continues to work on a floor full of infections and diseases. Her head is held high as she douses her hands with alcohol and treats patient after patient when she herself is a patient somewhere else. What a person. What a woman. What an angel.
As I think about things I am grateful for today, these two women are on the top of my list.
I'm also grateful for this blog. Now that I have expressed some feelings of my heart, perhaps I will be able to sleep.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
We Love Her, We Love Her Not...
Fiona has been great joy, but at the same time she has tried and tried our patience. Day after day it is something new. Yesterday I got a lovely call from my neighbors saying that Fiona came over for an uninvited visit. Today I found this...
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| Chewed off plug to the vacuum. There has also been other great deeds she has brought to our lovely house. Allow me to display her fine work!! My lovely massage chair...plug chewed off.  Our new kitchen wall...has a new hole.  A fabulous texture added to the door molding of our guest bedroom...  And a not-so-new look to our new table...and on all four chairs.  So you may ask why we still have her... Because of this...  And this...  |
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Kitchen Remodel: The almost finished product...
The Almost Finished Product: PIC SNEAK PIC
So our lovely kitchen was flooded when the pipe leaked from the sink. Insurance was going to come do all the work in three days and make it the way it was before the damage. However, it would cost us a deductable of 500$ and we didn't want laminate again, we wanted tile! So what did we do?! We said, "give us the money and we'll do it ourselves!"
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| Still need to tile the backsplash...that is why it is not painted... |
So our lovely kitchen was flooded when the pipe leaked from the sink. Insurance was going to come do all the work in three days and make it the way it was before the damage. However, it would cost us a deductable of 500$ and we didn't want laminate again, we wanted tile! So what did we do?! We said, "give us the money and we'll do it ourselves!"
Before the flood....
After the flood....
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| Fiona, our surveyor! |
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| I had to crawl up in the attic to find out if the ceiling fan would be stable enough up top. Yeah...look at all the mounds of insulation. |
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Don't worry, I geared up!! The ALMOST Finished Product!!!
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Some love and relaxing in the hot tub!!
I suprised Sean by writing all over our sidewalks with chalk.
Then we went to Sean's mom's house and relaxed in the hot tub with Sean's niece and nephew.
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| It reads both ways! : D |
Then we went to Sean's mom's house and relaxed in the hot tub with Sean's niece and nephew.
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| Ahhhhhhhhh...... |
I'm grateful for hot baths and hot tubs!!!!!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
the Haunting after Halloween!
Yesterday morning I was taking a bath and relaxing before I had to head out to work. Fiona decided she'd try to do some relaxing for herself and laid down on top of the heating vent.
My relaxation rudely ended when I heard a....
CRASH, CLUNK, CLINK, SCREEEEECHH, THUMP!
I quickly got out of the bathroom and was suprised to see that the vent in the floor was missing!
I followed the sound into the kitchen and found Fiona cowering on her bed looking like this....
The story made my day! I laughed all day about it at work, and I even shared the story with a coworker. She didn't find it as amusing, but I guess it was something you just had to be there for. :D
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| Heating vent. The door is the entrance to our bathroom. |
My relaxation rudely ended when I heard a....
CRASH, CLUNK, CLINK, SCREEEEECHH, THUMP!
I quickly got out of the bathroom and was suprised to see that the vent in the floor was missing!
I followed the sound into the kitchen and found Fiona cowering on her bed looking like this....
Of course I thought it was absolutely hilarious! She was scared to death and whinning because she had a vent following her! Somehow while she was lying on the vent, her dog tags got stuck and she pulled it right out of the floor! Then she dragged it across the kitchen floor, and trying to get shelter, she ran to her bed and whelped for help!
Of course I deattached her, laughed, and went back to my bath. But it was so amusing that I had to reenact it. I attached it to her collar again and set her up for these pictures.
Sean was upset that I put her through the torture again and kindly released her.
The story made my day! I laughed all day about it at work, and I even shared the story with a coworker. She didn't find it as amusing, but I guess it was something you just had to be there for. :D
Amazingly tasting times!
It's been a crazy week going back to work and still recovering from surgery, nevertheless, we've still had our good times. I've been ashamed of not cooking meals for Sean this year. I've probably only cooked a couple times since January. After spending WAY to much money eating out and listening to Sean tease me about it for the last several months, I decided to make a new year's resolution in November. My goal is to cook 3 homemade meals a week! Last week I made Rice-a-Roni and chicken, bought a cooked chicken from Smith's and made a salad, and also made some fantasic, mouth-watering, delicious lemon fajita's!! Below is a photo of proof.
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| I made these from scratch! That may not be impressive for most of you, but that is a HUGE improvement for me. LOL |
Hmmm, now what to make this week?!!... :D Maybe I should end my new year's resolution the first week, after-all, everyone else does!
An adventure for sure!
I also wanted to post some of my thoughts today about my wonderful life. When I was young, my mom used to say, "It's ok to be spoiled, but it is not ok to act or smell spoiled."
I've remembered that quote for years. Well, I was spoiled throughout childhood and I continue to be spoiled.
Together, Sean and I have had some very rough times. Our rough times haven't been nearly as hard as others, but we've cried together on several occasions. However, Heavenly Father always manages to suprise us with something better than what we imagined. After we were first married we lived in the back apartment of my father's parent's home. My grandma said she'd never let anyone live back there again because no one stayed there long enough. I begged her and promised we'd stay for a year.
We moved all of our stuff the day before our wedding. After it was all there, we realized how small our place was. The fridge was in our bedroom, and the oven was only half size. Sean and I couldn't both fit in the bathroom at once unless if one of us was in the tub. There was two tiny closets that only fit half our clothes. It was such a good memory. We loved it there. However, the space was tight and we were ready for something larger and more convient for me while I worked night shift.
We began looking for houses 7 months after we were married. Sean was in the Young Men's Stake Presidency and so we decided to get something close by so we could keep our callings and still be near my grandparent's home. Long story short was that we found the house of our dreams... (well the house of our newly-wed dreams).
After signing the contract in December, we got all our paperwork together to close on the house in January. After two long months we learned that another couple beat us to the punch. We were devastated. We didn't understand. However, the couple were not able to pay for the house which put us back up to bat. Another problem arose, Keybank said we had the good credit scores and finances, but we didn't have a long standing credit. We were shut down again. Bummed, Sean began searching for solutions. He discovered through the Corporation Developement Community a program that didn't require long standing credit, we just had to be poor enough. We barely met the requirements and were set to close on the house. Just a couple days before closing, Sean was blessed with the job he has now. God provided us with the means to be were we were supposed to be when we were supposed to be there.
Again and again, God continues to bless us. Time after time He gives us more than enough.
This week He gave Sean a better job that will allow me to one day move to a PRN nurse, allow us to start a family, and allow me to be a stay at home mom in our beautiful home of adventures.
I've remembered that quote for years. Well, I was spoiled throughout childhood and I continue to be spoiled.
Together, Sean and I have had some very rough times. Our rough times haven't been nearly as hard as others, but we've cried together on several occasions. However, Heavenly Father always manages to suprise us with something better than what we imagined. After we were first married we lived in the back apartment of my father's parent's home. My grandma said she'd never let anyone live back there again because no one stayed there long enough. I begged her and promised we'd stay for a year.
We moved all of our stuff the day before our wedding. After it was all there, we realized how small our place was. The fridge was in our bedroom, and the oven was only half size. Sean and I couldn't both fit in the bathroom at once unless if one of us was in the tub. There was two tiny closets that only fit half our clothes. It was such a good memory. We loved it there. However, the space was tight and we were ready for something larger and more convient for me while I worked night shift.
We began looking for houses 7 months after we were married. Sean was in the Young Men's Stake Presidency and so we decided to get something close by so we could keep our callings and still be near my grandparent's home. Long story short was that we found the house of our dreams... (well the house of our newly-wed dreams).
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| Our home! |
After signing the contract in December, we got all our paperwork together to close on the house in January. After two long months we learned that another couple beat us to the punch. We were devastated. We didn't understand. However, the couple were not able to pay for the house which put us back up to bat. Another problem arose, Keybank said we had the good credit scores and finances, but we didn't have a long standing credit. We were shut down again. Bummed, Sean began searching for solutions. He discovered through the Corporation Developement Community a program that didn't require long standing credit, we just had to be poor enough. We barely met the requirements and were set to close on the house. Just a couple days before closing, Sean was blessed with the job he has now. God provided us with the means to be were we were supposed to be when we were supposed to be there.
Again and again, God continues to bless us. Time after time He gives us more than enough.
This week He gave Sean a better job that will allow me to one day move to a PRN nurse, allow us to start a family, and allow me to be a stay at home mom in our beautiful home of adventures.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
"Love is meant to be an adventure!" Gordon B. Hinckley
Sean and I decided to create this blog to display the adventures of our marriage. We love the quote by Gordon B. Hinckley who said, "love is meant to be an adventure!" Ha ha...our love has been nothing but an adventure! It started two and a half years ago when Sean and I went on our first date. And let me tell you, it is a great story worth retelling! Under our posts, I have listed "our realistic fairytale." It is our epic (I love being dramatic when I write...and in person hehehe) story from my point of view. If you remembered anything about us dating, I would LOVE it if you would post some memories on this blog.
If you desire to read our whole story, skip the rest of this post.
The short synopsis is after 6 months of dating, one of the most joyous texts Sean has probably ever received came at 6:30 A.M. on December 4th, when his sweet love stated, "Sean, I love you, and I want to marry you. Ask me to marry you, and I will say yes." That night we cuddled and once again I affirmed my desire to marry him.
Unexpectedly, Sean had purchased my ring during the middle of finals week. On December 13th, 2008, Sean sent me on a scavenger hunt. The clues were extremely cheesy and written on torn pieces of scrap paper and old receipts. I grudgingly followed his lame clues that lead me to a clue of a scripture. After uncoding the scripture I went out into the back yard to a playhouse that my father had built me when I was a child. He placed his coat on me, and in a big box was a jewlery box. I was SHOCKED! I planned on him proposing on Christmas due to all the little info leaks he had been leading. He knelt on one knee and asked me to be his forever. I didn't exactly say yes at first, but after looking at the ring several times I said, "okay."
The day after our engagement on December 14, 2008, I wrote the following:
"I never believed I'd fall for Sean Willardson. However, I fell so fast that I didn't even realize I was falling. On many occasions I found myself on cloud 9. But overall I found myself wanting to be more and more with Sean because he was my best friend. His charitable love for people, for his family, and for me has allowed me to look upon the heart of this young David. As the months have passed and our relationship has grown, with his help I have defeated many Goliaths. His dedication, faith, and determination will allow us to move mountains. I am forever blessed to have him for forever."
Here are some of Sean's words:
"Anne has been a true inspiration to becoming a better person. She has, and continues to have, a profound effect on my life. She is full of intellect and works hard to maintain a positive view on life. I love how she plays with children as if she is a child herself. She has such a beautiful purity of soul. Her attitude towards life is a reflection of God's love for his children. I love her with all my heart and soul."
We've been married now for eighteen months and seventeen days!
And we have never been happier on this our eternal adventure of love. :D
If you desire to read our whole story, skip the rest of this post.
The short synopsis is after 6 months of dating, one of the most joyous texts Sean has probably ever received came at 6:30 A.M. on December 4th, when his sweet love stated, "Sean, I love you, and I want to marry you. Ask me to marry you, and I will say yes." That night we cuddled and once again I affirmed my desire to marry him.
Unexpectedly, Sean had purchased my ring during the middle of finals week. On December 13th, 2008, Sean sent me on a scavenger hunt. The clues were extremely cheesy and written on torn pieces of scrap paper and old receipts. I grudgingly followed his lame clues that lead me to a clue of a scripture. After uncoding the scripture I went out into the back yard to a playhouse that my father had built me when I was a child. He placed his coat on me, and in a big box was a jewlery box. I was SHOCKED! I planned on him proposing on Christmas due to all the little info leaks he had been leading. He knelt on one knee and asked me to be his forever. I didn't exactly say yes at first, but after looking at the ring several times I said, "okay."
The day after our engagement on December 14, 2008, I wrote the following:
"I never believed I'd fall for Sean Willardson. However, I fell so fast that I didn't even realize I was falling. On many occasions I found myself on cloud 9. But overall I found myself wanting to be more and more with Sean because he was my best friend. His charitable love for people, for his family, and for me has allowed me to look upon the heart of this young David. As the months have passed and our relationship has grown, with his help I have defeated many Goliaths. His dedication, faith, and determination will allow us to move mountains. I am forever blessed to have him for forever."
Here are some of Sean's words:
"Anne has been a true inspiration to becoming a better person. She has, and continues to have, a profound effect on my life. She is full of intellect and works hard to maintain a positive view on life. I love how she plays with children as if she is a child herself. She has such a beautiful purity of soul. Her attitude towards life is a reflection of God's love for his children. I love her with all my heart and soul."
We've been married now for eighteen months and seventeen days!
And we have never been happier on this our eternal adventure of love. :D
Monday, November 1, 2010
Our Realistic Fairytale
Sean came to Brooklyn 104 as a hometeacher to three of my roommates. I remember him standing near the kitchen, holding a bag of cookies that he had brought to our apartment. My first thought was that he was so sweet to bring over homemade cookies. I immediately decided that I would love to go on a date with this fellow. The memory faded as school began and Sean was briefly forgotten. Apparently he hadn't forgotten about me because that same night Pamela (my twin sister) told him to ask me on a date.
Time went by and on a dullfull Friday evening I found myself scrounging around and playing in a pile of oatmeal playdough. I was wearing my service activities shirt and BYUI shorts. I hadn't showered for the day, so consequently I looked dreadful. However, I didn't care because I only cared to impress one boy who I knew I would not be seeing that night.
We heard a knock on the door and my roommate and I simultaneously roared, "come in!"
A tall red head with a black and white vertical striped shirt, that was a size too big on him, entered the door. He immediately invited us over to his place for pizza and a movie (later Sean revealed to me that he came over that night to ask me on a date but didn't want to be mean to my roommate). My roommate and I didn't want to go, but we also didn't want to be rude. We invited him in to come play with our oatdough. Sean remembered both of our names and I had absolutely no idea who he was. After pushing and prodding and saving my roomate from having to go alone, I agreed to join in the fun. I showered and got ready to look my best. When I returned, I believe I stunned Sean with my ability to clean-up. Aka, he kept looking at me.
Sean and I naturally flirted that night. The flirting was just for fun for me and nothing else. I had no interest in this tall balding red-head. I saw how my roommate kind of eyed him and I decided to back down on the flirting. However, I couldn't do it! For some strange reason, I was attracted to this goofy looking kid. I tackled him for his ipod to start my investigation of his life. On his ipod I saw his number one most played song was "Kiss Me." I taunted him looking for a number of how many girls he had kissed. He proudly stated, "zero." I was shocked.
When curfew was drawing nearer, my roommate and I noticed the mess that we and all the other people had left. We raced to the sink and began washing dishes. Sean and his roommate rushed to help. They were embarrassed that we were cleaning their apartment. After we were done washing the dishes we needed a towel to dry our hands on. Sean ran out and grabbed his bathroom towel and draped it over his arms. My roommate and I glanced at each other and hesitatingly dried our hands. I lingered while saying goodbye because I secretly wanted one thing. A hug from Sean Willardson. And I got one on that warm summer night.
The following day, Sean came over to my apartment to ask me on a date. I was completely oblivious to the fact because I had a date with my crush. So, naturally, I thought he was there to ask my roommate on a date. When she briefly left the room I said to him, "ask her out all ready! She isn't going to wait all day." Sean looked at me and said, "what are you doing tonight?" I reminded him of the date I was going on and that I wouldn't be available to double. Due to my joy and excitment of my blossoming love, I wanted the same thing for my roommate. So I threw Sean my car keys and said, "take her out for a nice date. I think she likes you."
It had been several weeks since our pizza night and once again Sean was forgotten while I continued dating my crush. During this time, I encouraged Sean and my roommate to date each other. Sean was around the apartment all the time trying to woo my roommate. She told me on the day of his birthday June 15, that she wasn't interested anymore. I said, "well tell the guy so he stops fawning over you." She replied, "it's his birthday." I said, "trust me, he wants to know." Apparently in hindsight he wished she would have waited another day.
Our first official date was on a Wednesday, June 18th, 2008. I was slowly walking home in despair, my very first love was engaged to another girl. My crush and I had dated on and off for two semesters and he still hadn't asked me to be his girlfriend. I felt lonely. Sean saw me and began walking my slow pace. I was rather irritated since he was working on making me happy, and really all I wanted to do was sulk. Sean finally asked me if I wanted to join him at that moment for dinner. I knew my apartment would be messy and I didn't want to pass up a free dinner so I took the offer. We walked to Frontier Pies and I felt like it was THE most awkward date of my life. However, I also felt I found it easy to talk to him.
During the date, Sean said, "I was actually on my way to your apartment to ask you on a date for Friday. Stumped with no excuses, I replied, "sure!" I thought he was asking me on another date when in fact he was actually just trying to make conversation. Sean didn't explain himself, he just said "great, I'll call you!" He walked me home, poked, and tried to cheer me up. With all his poking and teasing, I was already thinking of excuses to get out of our upcoming date. After all, he was too tall for me, had red hair, and was an accounting major. Those three things didn't fit into my "plan" of who I needed.
Friday approached and I decided I didn't feel "well enough" to go on the date. I texted Sean and explained my recent illness. My roommate made me feel guility so I texted Sean again only a half hour before the show to tell him I had a recent full recovery! He fortunately sold the tickets, but then unfortunately offered to bring a movie over. We watched Stardust that night and I found myself rather uncomfortable. I thought, "if I could just put my feet up on the couch then I'd be much more comfortable. However, there was one problem, Sean was in the way. I finally gave into my comfortable desire and placed my legs on Sean's lap. After some time, Sean began massaging my feet. This shocked me. I wasn't expecting this on a second date. Especially on a second date that I didn't even like! I nearly cuddled with Sean that night. I was very confused with my feelings and my intentions.
Feeling kind of lonely the next day, I texted Sean. We went to Porter park and talked and gazed at the stars on a blanket provided by Sean. We began wrestling and Sean pinned me and asked, "penny for your thoughts?" I laughed and pushed him off me. I replied, "give me a nickel and I'll tell you my thoughts." Sean searched and searched his pockets and backpack for a nickel. He was unable to find one and he was devastated.
Laughing, I said, "I'll tell you if you pay me back later." He promptly agreed. "Sean", I whispered with slight hesitation, "I don't know how I feel about you. Honestly I am confused. I thought I was not attracted to you and that you weren't my type, but I am ambivalent with this thought, and I'm not sure how to approach this. So, I think we should continue going on dates and see where it leads us." He grinned. I looked at his childish face and courageously asked, "what are you thinking?"
He smiled and said, "that I like you and I would love to date you. I also wanted to kiss you when I had you pinned." That was no suprise to me. I put on a fake smile and thought, "what am I doing?!"
We began walking home and Sean grabbed my hand. I glanced up and looked at his proud chisled face. I went along with it at first until Sean asked, "is this okay?" I turned away and said, "holding hands means commitment, and I'm not ready to be committed to you." I promptly withdrew my hand. Sean replied, "it was a little awkward for me too." Sean was absolutely broke. I felt so bad for him that I linked my arm in his.
On our way home, the other guy I was dating was walking right toward us on the same sidewalk. I couldn't just run away from Sean. Nor could I unlink my arm after crushing him from not holding his hand. So I bowed my head and hoped the other guy would not notice. As he was passing by he said, "hi, Sean." About 5 feet passed us, my crush turned around and said, "ANNE! Is that you?!" I blew it! Now my crush was never going to continue asking me out. I said hi and told him I would talk to him later.
The next day I decided to test him by taking him to Robin Freeman's apartment (my adopted grandmother of whom I had visited with nearly every Sunday for a year). He delightedly enjoyed her company and talked with her as if they were old friends. He was so attractive that I couldn't resist but grab his hand. the expression on his face was priceless. We left Robin's apartment with interlocked fingers. I wasn't ready to let go. On our journey home, I grabbed a pinecone from a tree and handed it over to Sean. He pocketed the present like it was a nugget of gold (he still has that same pinecone). I let go of his hand as we approached my apartment complex. Noone could know about this.
Time went by and on a dullfull Friday evening I found myself scrounging around and playing in a pile of oatmeal playdough. I was wearing my service activities shirt and BYUI shorts. I hadn't showered for the day, so consequently I looked dreadful. However, I didn't care because I only cared to impress one boy who I knew I would not be seeing that night.
We heard a knock on the door and my roommate and I simultaneously roared, "come in!"
A tall red head with a black and white vertical striped shirt, that was a size too big on him, entered the door. He immediately invited us over to his place for pizza and a movie (later Sean revealed to me that he came over that night to ask me on a date but didn't want to be mean to my roommate). My roommate and I didn't want to go, but we also didn't want to be rude. We invited him in to come play with our oatdough. Sean remembered both of our names and I had absolutely no idea who he was. After pushing and prodding and saving my roomate from having to go alone, I agreed to join in the fun. I showered and got ready to look my best. When I returned, I believe I stunned Sean with my ability to clean-up. Aka, he kept looking at me.
Sean and I naturally flirted that night. The flirting was just for fun for me and nothing else. I had no interest in this tall balding red-head. I saw how my roommate kind of eyed him and I decided to back down on the flirting. However, I couldn't do it! For some strange reason, I was attracted to this goofy looking kid. I tackled him for his ipod to start my investigation of his life. On his ipod I saw his number one most played song was "Kiss Me." I taunted him looking for a number of how many girls he had kissed. He proudly stated, "zero." I was shocked.
When curfew was drawing nearer, my roommate and I noticed the mess that we and all the other people had left. We raced to the sink and began washing dishes. Sean and his roommate rushed to help. They were embarrassed that we were cleaning their apartment. After we were done washing the dishes we needed a towel to dry our hands on. Sean ran out and grabbed his bathroom towel and draped it over his arms. My roommate and I glanced at each other and hesitatingly dried our hands. I lingered while saying goodbye because I secretly wanted one thing. A hug from Sean Willardson. And I got one on that warm summer night.
The following day, Sean came over to my apartment to ask me on a date. I was completely oblivious to the fact because I had a date with my crush. So, naturally, I thought he was there to ask my roommate on a date. When she briefly left the room I said to him, "ask her out all ready! She isn't going to wait all day." Sean looked at me and said, "what are you doing tonight?" I reminded him of the date I was going on and that I wouldn't be available to double. Due to my joy and excitment of my blossoming love, I wanted the same thing for my roommate. So I threw Sean my car keys and said, "take her out for a nice date. I think she likes you."
It had been several weeks since our pizza night and once again Sean was forgotten while I continued dating my crush. During this time, I encouraged Sean and my roommate to date each other. Sean was around the apartment all the time trying to woo my roommate. She told me on the day of his birthday June 15, that she wasn't interested anymore. I said, "well tell the guy so he stops fawning over you." She replied, "it's his birthday." I said, "trust me, he wants to know." Apparently in hindsight he wished she would have waited another day.
Our first official date was on a Wednesday, June 18th, 2008. I was slowly walking home in despair, my very first love was engaged to another girl. My crush and I had dated on and off for two semesters and he still hadn't asked me to be his girlfriend. I felt lonely. Sean saw me and began walking my slow pace. I was rather irritated since he was working on making me happy, and really all I wanted to do was sulk. Sean finally asked me if I wanted to join him at that moment for dinner. I knew my apartment would be messy and I didn't want to pass up a free dinner so I took the offer. We walked to Frontier Pies and I felt like it was THE most awkward date of my life. However, I also felt I found it easy to talk to him.
During the date, Sean said, "I was actually on my way to your apartment to ask you on a date for Friday. Stumped with no excuses, I replied, "sure!" I thought he was asking me on another date when in fact he was actually just trying to make conversation. Sean didn't explain himself, he just said "great, I'll call you!" He walked me home, poked, and tried to cheer me up. With all his poking and teasing, I was already thinking of excuses to get out of our upcoming date. After all, he was too tall for me, had red hair, and was an accounting major. Those three things didn't fit into my "plan" of who I needed.
Friday approached and I decided I didn't feel "well enough" to go on the date. I texted Sean and explained my recent illness. My roommate made me feel guility so I texted Sean again only a half hour before the show to tell him I had a recent full recovery! He fortunately sold the tickets, but then unfortunately offered to bring a movie over. We watched Stardust that night and I found myself rather uncomfortable. I thought, "if I could just put my feet up on the couch then I'd be much more comfortable. However, there was one problem, Sean was in the way. I finally gave into my comfortable desire and placed my legs on Sean's lap. After some time, Sean began massaging my feet. This shocked me. I wasn't expecting this on a second date. Especially on a second date that I didn't even like! I nearly cuddled with Sean that night. I was very confused with my feelings and my intentions.
Feeling kind of lonely the next day, I texted Sean. We went to Porter park and talked and gazed at the stars on a blanket provided by Sean. We began wrestling and Sean pinned me and asked, "penny for your thoughts?" I laughed and pushed him off me. I replied, "give me a nickel and I'll tell you my thoughts." Sean searched and searched his pockets and backpack for a nickel. He was unable to find one and he was devastated.
Laughing, I said, "I'll tell you if you pay me back later." He promptly agreed. "Sean", I whispered with slight hesitation, "I don't know how I feel about you. Honestly I am confused. I thought I was not attracted to you and that you weren't my type, but I am ambivalent with this thought, and I'm not sure how to approach this. So, I think we should continue going on dates and see where it leads us." He grinned. I looked at his childish face and courageously asked, "what are you thinking?"
He smiled and said, "that I like you and I would love to date you. I also wanted to kiss you when I had you pinned." That was no suprise to me. I put on a fake smile and thought, "what am I doing?!"
We began walking home and Sean grabbed my hand. I glanced up and looked at his proud chisled face. I went along with it at first until Sean asked, "is this okay?" I turned away and said, "holding hands means commitment, and I'm not ready to be committed to you." I promptly withdrew my hand. Sean replied, "it was a little awkward for me too." Sean was absolutely broke. I felt so bad for him that I linked my arm in his.
On our way home, the other guy I was dating was walking right toward us on the same sidewalk. I couldn't just run away from Sean. Nor could I unlink my arm after crushing him from not holding his hand. So I bowed my head and hoped the other guy would not notice. As he was passing by he said, "hi, Sean." About 5 feet passed us, my crush turned around and said, "ANNE! Is that you?!" I blew it! Now my crush was never going to continue asking me out. I said hi and told him I would talk to him later.
The next day I decided to test him by taking him to Robin Freeman's apartment (my adopted grandmother of whom I had visited with nearly every Sunday for a year). He delightedly enjoyed her company and talked with her as if they were old friends. He was so attractive that I couldn't resist but grab his hand. the expression on his face was priceless. We left Robin's apartment with interlocked fingers. I wasn't ready to let go. On our journey home, I grabbed a pinecone from a tree and handed it over to Sean. He pocketed the present like it was a nugget of gold (he still has that same pinecone). I let go of his hand as we approached my apartment complex. Noone could know about this.
Well eventually my roommates knew about it and they said, "if you are embarrassed to be seen with him, break up with him." I wasn't willing to admit that I was embarrassed to be seen with him so I reluctantly changed my facebook status to "in a relationship with Sean Willardson."
Funnily enough my old crush called after he saw the status change, and told me of all the reasons why I shouldn't date Sean. One of the reasons being the fact that he was too tall for me. I realized at that moment that I had wasted my time with this stupid crush. His rude comments made me want to prove him wrong. So despite all my doubts about Sean, I continued our relationship.
The month of July was a rollarcoaster of emotions. I had to work a twelve hour shift for my preceptorship in pediatrics on the fourth of July. Sean drove down with me to Idaho Falls at 6:15am. During my lunch break, we went to our Bishop's barbecue. When he opened the car door, there on my seat was a pinecone with a note that read, "don't look at the song, but press play." Inside the glovebox was my ipod where I pressed play and then turned on a cheesy song about love and beauty. I faked smiled again and thought to myself, "I hope he doesn't have a nickel and ask what I'm thinking because right now I am weirded out."
I returned to the hospital and told the other nurses about this odd sort of boyfriend that I had. they thought that it was very romantic of him to do what he did.
On our way back to Rexburg, we were stuck in traffic and Sean was extremely uptight and grumpy. I knew that I could NEVER marry him. The next day I broke-up with Sean at the Rexburg temple.
The following weekend, our ward was having a summer party. When I saw Sean at the party, I couldn't stop staring at him. In fact, I purposefully sat next to him. At the end of the party, Sean was helping the bishop clean stuff up. I frantically tried to keep an eye on him so I could talk to him when he was free. He promptly left the party and left me confused. What's a girl to do except text her ex-boyfriend? He was on a date but rapidly finished it to come be with me.
When he arrived at my apartment, I thought I had made a mistake by leading him on again. I said, "do you want to watch a movie?" He slipped Charly out of his pocket and said, "yeah, I brought one with me." The movie evoked so much emotion that I was uncontrollably crying. Sean didn't try to comfort me, he just handed me Wendy's napkins from his pocket. I couldn't take the pain anymore and I needed his comfort. I finally turned and hugged Sean and held him as if it was the end of the world. We both cried. That night he told me that like "Utah's" character, he was looking for the wrong thing and that all he wanted was me. He kissed me on the forehead and then left me befuddled.
Ever since that night, Sean and I have been together. Every day seemed different. And everyday I found myself falling more and more in love with Sean. One day at the end of July while I was on a road trip with my mother, I texted Sean and said, "Sean, I think I love you." It took him minutes to reply with, "Anne, I love you too."
That summer was constructive one for us. Sean finally got his first kiss in August. Later that month, I had surgery on my ankle. Sean was there for me every second that I needed him and every hour that I slept. He would carry me up and down the stairs. I saw during those moments a charitable kind of love Sean had. I'd sleep for hours and hours, and then wake-up in pain to find Sean ready with some food and a pain pill. Sean sat outside my bedroom door and changed my ice pack every couple hours and made me breakfast, lunch and dinner. He was always so thoughtful in every way during both of my ankle surgeries.
During my last semester of nursing school, he made me dinner nearly every night while I studied. I never once asked him to make me dinner, yet for months he did (he still makes us dinner nearly every night). He would often leave me suprise letters and I received flowers atleast once a week. He would take me to the temple every week where we talked of our goals and ambitions of life...and other sappy stuff.
On December 3rd, I was questioning my relationship with Sean. I wasn't sure if I should continue dating him. That night I had flirted with another guy that I had interest in before Sean and I began dating. This guy had invited me on a date and I told him I had a boyfriend. I was confused. I communicated my concerns with my best friend about my problem. She asked this, "do you love him?"
I replied, "yes."
"Do you work well together?"
Again I replied, "yes."
"Are you willing to lose something real for a fling?"
It was during that moment that I knew I wanted to marry Sean for time and eternity. I couldn't sleep the entire night because of the circulating thoughts of faith and fear. One of the most joyous texts Sean has probably ever recived came at 6:30 A.M. on December 4th, when his sweet love stated, "Sean, I love you, and I want to marry you. Ask me to marry you, and I will say yes." That night we cuddled and once again I affirmed my desire to marry him.
Unexpectedly, Sean had purchased my ring during the middle of finals week. On December 13th, 2008, Sean sent me on a scavenger hunt. The clues were extremely cheesy and written on torn pieces of scrap paper and old receipts. I grudgingly followed his lame clues that lead me to a clue of a scripture. After uncoding the scripture I went out into the back yard to a play house that my father had built me when I was a child. He placed his coat on me, and in a big box was a jewlery box. I was SHOCKED! He knelt on one knee and asked me to be his forever. After moments and moments of thinking I said, "okay."
The day after our engagement on December 14, 2008, I wrote the following:
"I never believed I'd fall for Sean Willardson. However, I fell so fast that I didn't even realize I was falling. On many occasions I found myself on cloud 9. But overall I found myself wanting to be more and more with Sean because he was my best friend. His charitable love for people, for his family, and for me has allowed me to look upon the heart of this young David. As the months have passed and our relationship has grown, with his help I have defeated many Goliaths. His dedication, faith, and determination will allow us to move mountains. I am forever blessed to have him for forever."
Here are some of Sean's words:
"Anne has been a true inspiration to becoming a better person. She has, and continues to have, a profound effect on my life. She is full of intellect and works hard to maintain a positive view on life. I love how she plays with children as if she is a child herself. She has such a beautiful purity of soul. Her attitude towards life is a reflection of God's love for his children. I love her with all my heart and soul."
We've been married now for eighteen months and seventeen days!
And we have never been happier on our eternal adventure of love. :D
Funnily enough my old crush called after he saw the status change, and told me of all the reasons why I shouldn't date Sean. One of the reasons being the fact that he was too tall for me. I realized at that moment that I had wasted my time with this stupid crush. His rude comments made me want to prove him wrong. So despite all my doubts about Sean, I continued our relationship.
The month of July was a rollarcoaster of emotions. I had to work a twelve hour shift for my preceptorship in pediatrics on the fourth of July. Sean drove down with me to Idaho Falls at 6:15am. During my lunch break, we went to our Bishop's barbecue. When he opened the car door, there on my seat was a pinecone with a note that read, "don't look at the song, but press play." Inside the glovebox was my ipod where I pressed play and then turned on a cheesy song about love and beauty. I faked smiled again and thought to myself, "I hope he doesn't have a nickel and ask what I'm thinking because right now I am weirded out."
I returned to the hospital and told the other nurses about this odd sort of boyfriend that I had. they thought that it was very romantic of him to do what he did.
On our way back to Rexburg, we were stuck in traffic and Sean was extremely uptight and grumpy. I knew that I could NEVER marry him. The next day I broke-up with Sean at the Rexburg temple.
The following weekend, our ward was having a summer party. When I saw Sean at the party, I couldn't stop staring at him. In fact, I purposefully sat next to him. At the end of the party, Sean was helping the bishop clean stuff up. I frantically tried to keep an eye on him so I could talk to him when he was free. He promptly left the party and left me confused. What's a girl to do except text her ex-boyfriend? He was on a date but rapidly finished it to come be with me.
When he arrived at my apartment, I thought I had made a mistake by leading him on again. I said, "do you want to watch a movie?" He slipped Charly out of his pocket and said, "yeah, I brought one with me." The movie evoked so much emotion that I was uncontrollably crying. Sean didn't try to comfort me, he just handed me Wendy's napkins from his pocket. I couldn't take the pain anymore and I needed his comfort. I finally turned and hugged Sean and held him as if it was the end of the world. We both cried. That night he told me that like "Utah's" character, he was looking for the wrong thing and that all he wanted was me. He kissed me on the forehead and then left me befuddled.
Ever since that night, Sean and I have been together. Every day seemed different. And everyday I found myself falling more and more in love with Sean. One day at the end of July while I was on a road trip with my mother, I texted Sean and said, "Sean, I think I love you." It took him minutes to reply with, "Anne, I love you too."
That summer was constructive one for us. Sean finally got his first kiss in August. Later that month, I had surgery on my ankle. Sean was there for me every second that I needed him and every hour that I slept. He would carry me up and down the stairs. I saw during those moments a charitable kind of love Sean had. I'd sleep for hours and hours, and then wake-up in pain to find Sean ready with some food and a pain pill. Sean sat outside my bedroom door and changed my ice pack every couple hours and made me breakfast, lunch and dinner. He was always so thoughtful in every way during both of my ankle surgeries.
During my last semester of nursing school, he made me dinner nearly every night while I studied. I never once asked him to make me dinner, yet for months he did (he still makes us dinner nearly every night). He would often leave me suprise letters and I received flowers atleast once a week. He would take me to the temple every week where we talked of our goals and ambitions of life...and other sappy stuff.
On December 3rd, I was questioning my relationship with Sean. I wasn't sure if I should continue dating him. That night I had flirted with another guy that I had interest in before Sean and I began dating. This guy had invited me on a date and I told him I had a boyfriend. I was confused. I communicated my concerns with my best friend about my problem. She asked this, "do you love him?"
I replied, "yes."
"Do you work well together?"
Again I replied, "yes."
"Are you willing to lose something real for a fling?"
It was during that moment that I knew I wanted to marry Sean for time and eternity. I couldn't sleep the entire night because of the circulating thoughts of faith and fear. One of the most joyous texts Sean has probably ever recived came at 6:30 A.M. on December 4th, when his sweet love stated, "Sean, I love you, and I want to marry you. Ask me to marry you, and I will say yes." That night we cuddled and once again I affirmed my desire to marry him.
Unexpectedly, Sean had purchased my ring during the middle of finals week. On December 13th, 2008, Sean sent me on a scavenger hunt. The clues were extremely cheesy and written on torn pieces of scrap paper and old receipts. I grudgingly followed his lame clues that lead me to a clue of a scripture. After uncoding the scripture I went out into the back yard to a play house that my father had built me when I was a child. He placed his coat on me, and in a big box was a jewlery box. I was SHOCKED! He knelt on one knee and asked me to be his forever. After moments and moments of thinking I said, "okay."
The day after our engagement on December 14, 2008, I wrote the following:
"I never believed I'd fall for Sean Willardson. However, I fell so fast that I didn't even realize I was falling. On many occasions I found myself on cloud 9. But overall I found myself wanting to be more and more with Sean because he was my best friend. His charitable love for people, for his family, and for me has allowed me to look upon the heart of this young David. As the months have passed and our relationship has grown, with his help I have defeated many Goliaths. His dedication, faith, and determination will allow us to move mountains. I am forever blessed to have him for forever."
Here are some of Sean's words:
"Anne has been a true inspiration to becoming a better person. She has, and continues to have, a profound effect on my life. She is full of intellect and works hard to maintain a positive view on life. I love how she plays with children as if she is a child herself. She has such a beautiful purity of soul. Her attitude towards life is a reflection of God's love for his children. I love her with all my heart and soul."
We've been married now for eighteen months and seventeen days!
And we have never been happier on our eternal adventure of love. :D
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