Sean wrote this beautiful letter to his mom and he wanted to share it on our blog. We miss you mamma Gerber.
I missed you last night. Anne and I went to a local elementary trunk-or-treat. William was a darling little fireman. He did not understand at first, but caught on quick. He didn’t say, ”trick or treat” but he held out his bag and managed a few “thank you’s.” About halfway through he asked me to hold his bag because it was getting heavy. Anne was able to take some really cute pictures.
It was hard because we would have visited you afterwards. You would not have been home though. We would have enjoyed your cute Halloween stuff. You would have held, hugged, and cuddled with William. We would have discussed Makenna and Anne’s hard pregnancy. The hopes and dreams we have for our darling little girl and our handsome son.
You and I would have spoken about school and how this semester is going. I would have complained about some things and excited about others. You would have patiently listened and, when you felt necessary, correcting and encouraging me. I don’t know that I will ever enjoy Halloween as much as I did when I was with you.
After a while we would discuss the upcoming Disney trip. How Anne and I were determined to go next time. William still loves Mickey Mouse. I made chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast and made a Mickey Mouse face for William; just like you used to do for me. He spotted it right away. He’s such a smart kid. I wish he would have been able to go with you. He would have loved it. Thank you for riding some of the extremely kiddy rides with me when we last went.
I miss seeing you playing and cuddling with William. You patiently letting him water your garden and make a mess in the kitchen. You didn’t care. You were happy to let your grandson be a child. You were happy that Anne and I were able to have kids. We are happy too. I sorrow because he will no longer have the chance to grow up with you.
I miss your hugs and your words of encouragement. I miss the fact that you loved me without stipulation or strings. You didn’t care about my mistakes, faults, and imperfections. You loved me simply because I was your son. That’s all that mattered to you. I still remember you whispering words of love and apologies in my ear when I told you of my hardest struggles as a teenager. That was the last time I saw your face and hugged you while you were alive. You loved me. You always had so much Christ-like love for me. And you always encouraged me to do the same for others.
Thank you for encouraging me to go to church and serve a mission. My greatest blessings and miracles have come from those two things.
Mom, I know you had to go, but I really miss you and wish you had not left. Even now when I say, “I Love You” when I think about you I still hear your reply of “Not as much as I Love You!”