It was hard for me to move away to school at BYU-Idaho where I would no longer be able to visit my grandparents on Thursday nights. The first year of school, my grandma would call me late every Thursday night to discuss the night's details of the show. She always made me laugh. She soon discovered I stopped watching Survivor and we found new things to talk about like college boys and her garden. In the meantime I loved hearing grandpa's voice over the phone. He always said the same thing, "How's school? ....That's good. Patricia, you are my special granddaughter and I love you." My favorite phone calls always came on my birthday when in unison both of them would sing the entire "Happy Birthday" song. I loved every second of it.
When Sean and I began dating, I made sure to introduce him to my grandparents. Grandpa immediately loved Sean. They would make jokes about each other's bald heads and enjoyed each other's company. One day, while Sean was in the kitchen with my grandpa, I started asking my grandma what she thought about him. My grandma is a stubborn and very opinionated German woman. Although she is probably only 4'9, she is intimidating! She looked at me and said, "he's a nice guy, but you should serve a mission." I was flabbergasted. I began laughing because I thought she was slightly joking. But she looked at me with those stern stubborn eyes and I knew she was not joking. When Sean and I were engaged, my grandma was happy that I was happy, but still kept saying, "I wish you'd serve a mission." I admired her honesty and her devotion to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
After spending four years in Rexburg and graduating from nursing school, I was ready to move back home to Utah. Sean and I were poor and neither of us had jobs. I knew my grandparent's had an apartment attached to their house where other cousins had lived before. I called grandma one day and asked her if us newly weds could live with her. She immediately said "no!" We continued to talk about it over the next month and she finally agreed we could live there. However, only on the condition that we lived there for a "long time". I agreed to the condition and Sean and I moved in the day before our wedding. We didn't realize how small the apartment was. The fridge was in the bedroom and there was only a half sized oven. The kitchen was more like a hallway. But we were excited to start our lives together, and I was excited to spend more time with my grandparents.
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| Here is the only pic I have of the apartment. |
We instantly learned to love living in my grandparent's ward. Every Sunday my grandparents would leave to go to church a half hour early. My grandpa was the door greeter and handed out all the programs for Sacrament meeting. One Sunday as we were shuffling in the chapel, I overheard my grandpa talking to two young women. I heard him say something very familiar, "you two are very special young women, you are beautiful and I love you." They gave him hugs and went and sat down. I was kind of shocked. I knew that he said that to me and my sisters, but what business did he have saying it to everyone? I was flat out jealous.
Over the next couple weeks the ward members started to learn that I was the granddaughter of the Major's. I began hearing story after story from several members about my grandparent's kindness and service. The Primary president told me how my grandma and grandpa would call every single person in the ward and sing them the entire birthday song. Once again I was shocked and jealous. I thought they only did that with their family. The Primary president continued to tell me that she had lived in the ward for two years and still hadn't gotten the special phone call. Weeks later she came to me with the biggest smile on her face, "your grandparents sang to me on my birthday! It was the best gift ever." It was ironic to me that something my grandparents have done to me for years could mean so much to a young Primary president.
Other stories included about how my grandma would always bake dozens of cookies to bring to the women in the ward who just had babies. My grandpa was praised about how he was such a wonderful bishop. Stories were told about the hours of service he would give outside of church to certain members who needed help fixing odds and ends. One night Sean and I had a meeting with the Stake president and his wife. They talked to us about my grandparents for over an hour, telling us stories about their legacy. The Stake president solemnly said with tears in his eyes, "your grandparents are the greatest examples in my life. Whenever I feel like I can no longer endure the world, I look to your grandparents and gain strength from them. They know how to endure more than anyone. They are some of the greatest blessings in my life."
I always loved my quirky grandparents, but I never realized their influence on the lives of those outside of the scope of their family. They were truly examples of selfless followers of Jesus Christ.
Grandma and grandpa always planted a delicious garden every summer. Our first summer of marriage was so fun. Often I would wake up to see grandpa sitting on the bench watching over grandma while she gardened. I'd go out and sit next to my grandpa and laugh with him as he made his usual jokes about his bald head. I loved hearing his story about how he met my grandma and how much love he had for her. Sometimes he'd talk about serving in the war and the miracles that occurred to save his life. After each story he would generally bear a small portion of his testimony about his loving Heavenly Father and the truthfulness of the gospel.
Sean and I would also help out in the yard by weeding and mowing the lawns. We were still both unemployed and were working off our rent. One day my grandma knocked on our door. We let her in and she handed Sean an envelope with a check for $40. My 6'4" husband held out the check back to my 4'9" grandma. Sean said, "grandma, we work for you because we owe you rent. Plus we like serving you and grandpa."
My 88 year-old grandma would not take the check back but instead pushed his hand away saying, "you need the money, you don't work!"
I continued to watch the commotion as each of them kept on pushing the check back and forth for several minutes. Sean was starting to get very irritated and she was beginning to turn red. I intervened and gracefully accepted the check. After she left I said to Sean, "what are you thinking fighting with an 88 year-old German woman?! You will NEVER win!" Sean quickly learned that I was right and above all, my grandma was always right.
After a year of living in the back apartment, we decided it was time to find a place of our own. But my promise I made to my grandma kept haunting me. "We will stay for a long time." We followed the promptings of the Spirit and ended up finding a house a block away from my grandparents and in the same ward. We immediately knew that was where we were supposed to be. My grandma was absolutely livid when I told her we were moving. She remembered, "you said you'd live her for a long time!" I felt awful. I explained to her that we were moving down the street and it made her even more mad, "this is not a safe neighborhood! You can't raise a family here!"
I looked at her and apologized, "grandma, I love you and grandpa and I love being near you. We WILL be here until you are no longer here.We will be here for 'a long time'." It took weeks before she began to get used to the idea that she was stuck with us. We continued to mow her lawns and shovel her sidewalks. Every month we'd get that $40 check in the mail and we'd laugh. She saw us twice a week and she still sent us a check during the summer months in the mail.
After some time my grandfather began getting severe headaches and was no longer able to go to church. It was hard not to see him there greeting us at the entrance of the chapel. I loved being able to still visit. One night Sean and I were out for a walk with our dog. We decided to stop by for a visit. It was Thursday night and survivor! Grandma immediately invited us in and offered ice cream. We didn't want to stay long because we didn't want to leave Fiona trapped outside on the porch. My grandma absolutely abhors pets and especially dogs. She would tell me all the time how stupid they were and what a waste of money they could be. But she knew it was cold outside and demanded Sean to bring her inside the house. Sean and I were shocked. I don't think there has ever been a dog in their house during their 70 years of marriage. Worried that Fiona would get hair everywhere and jump on grandma and grandpa, Sean politely declined. My grandma insisted. So Fiona came inside the house. Grandpa kept petting her and calling her a "sweet pup." We laughed and enjoyed the rest of Survivor just like old times except with a dog.
Last October during my first couple weeks of pregnancy, I was having some cramping and I was really sick. I was worried that we would miscarry the baby. I wanted a father's blessing. The closest I had to a father was my grandpa. We walked over there one night and my grandfather gave me the sweetest blessing stating, "angels would watch over me and the baby and it would be healthy." Immediately after the blessing my grandpa hugged me and told me that I was pregnant with a healthy baby boy. I laughed it off thinking it was impossible to really know what gender our child was. Sean and I wanted a girl and thought that is what we were having. I was grateful for his blessing and the power of the priesthood.
I remember one Sunday after hearing a baby blessing, I wrote a note to Sean "who do we want in the circle to bless our baby?" Sean and I began to make a list during sacrament meeting. One of the first names Sean put on the list was my grandfather. I turned to him and whispered, "what if grandpa is not physically able to be in the circle?" Sean began to cry and said in a cracked voice, "if we have to bless our child at grandpa's bedside, we will bless him at his bedside. Grandpa WILL be there." I squeezed Sean's hand and hoped he was right.
The first several months of pregnancy were really hard. My grandma would call and check up on me during the middle of every week. There were times when I'd begin to worry about the baby, and Sean would remind me of my grandpa's blessing. Sure enough, at our 20 week ultra sound we discovered we were having a healthy baby boy. Of course I cried. On one particular night I was in a lot of back pain and again worried about the baby. Sean gave me a blessing and again the blessing said, "angels are watching over you and your child." Weeks later when my uncle died, I knew he was an angel watching over us from time to time, but I didn't expect to have my grandpa join him so soon.
One day Sean and I took my grandparents dinner. I was excited to share with them my good news that I had finally found a job. We ate dinner together and chatted. The following week on the first night of my job I got a call saying that grandpa had been taken to the hospital. Immediately my heart sank. All I could think of was that he had to live for three more months to be there for my son's baby blessing. Sean spent the second night with my grandfather at the hospital. He texted me while I was at work, "your grandfather has become my father-in-law and I love him so much."
Grandpa was later transferred to a care facility. This was very wearing on my grandma, however she would still go to be with him every day. We had a schedule where we would take turns driving her to the facility. I got the privilege of dropping her off the day of their 71st anniversary. Grandma walked into grandpa's room and his face beamed. She gave him a sweet kiss. He immediately began to say, "Eva, I love you. I love you, Eva." He repeated the sentence several times. After he calmed down my grandma reminded him that they had been married 71 years to the day. He smiled and said, "wow" and continued to say sweet words to my grandma. I went back to my car and cried. I hoped Sean and I could stay that much in love for 71 years.
My grandma began to get very worried about my grandpa. She wanted to bring him home. He kept telling her things like, "I'm going to die in this ugly place." One day my sister asked me to come talk to the doctor and the nurses. I expressed my grandma's desire to the charge nurse and told her we'd like to take him home. The nurse got very upset and told us he was not healthy enough to go home. I was very frustrated. His kidney lab values were out of range and some were close to critical. I explained that he was 91 years-old and his kidneys were not going to function perfectly. I also explained that he had kidney problems for several years. She wouldn't listen. I demanded to talk to a doctor. My grandma was upset. My sister just rolled with the punches but she was also very concerned that they were taking forever to let him go home. As I was walking down the hall I had a thought come to my head. It was almost as if a voice had straight out said something to me. I thought, "I need to get grandpa's past history of his kidney functions to show to the doctor."
We were able to get the records to show the doctor. Before the doctor saw his history she was trying to convince us that my grandpa needed to stay at the facility longer due to his poor kidney functions. I gave her the labs and she was surprised and said, "then I don't see any reason to keep him here longer." My uncle, my grandma and I discussed with the doctor about the kind of care my grandpa would need for when he got home. Grandma said to the doctor, "I don't ever want to take him to the hospital again. I want him home." We agreed that hospice care would be the best choice. It was hard for me to swallow that decision. But like always, my grandma was stronger than me. After speaking with the doctor, I knew that my dad and aunt were there whispering in my ear to get my grandfather's past medical history. But in my heart I hoped that it didn't mean he was going to die.
Hospice was wonderful. My siblings were also amazing on how they all took turns caring for my grandpa. My oldest sister took on most of the work and was there with my grandparents several nights and days of the week. Sean would stay with grandpa 1 or 2 nights a week so my sister could take a break. My grandfather loved Sean like his own grandson. Even though Sean was finishing the end of a semester, working full time and taking care of me, Sean willingly went to serve my grandparents. Sean continued to express to me how much he loved my grandfather.
On the night of April 24th, I was at work and Sean was staying with my grandpa. My grandpa kept saying weird things and was acting really different. He was awake and agitated most of the night. Sean continued to send me texts through out the night with updates. I began to worry. My sister asked that I be there after I got off work until my uncle got there in the morning. Sure enough, Sean was right. My grandpa was very confused and kept doing and saying odd things. I began to be very frustrated. I was very pregnant and my back was killing me, plus I had just worked 12 hours. Nevertheless I sat next to my grandpa and held his hand. He pointed to the sealing and said to me, "there is a big pie up there." I laughed and replied, "why don't you go eat it?" He looked at me and said, "no I'm not hungry right now." William was kicking like crazy that morning. I had never felt him move so much before. I wondered if my dad was in the room with my grandpa, but I refused to believe he was close to dying. He had 2 more months to live before William was born.
I went home and tried to sleep. I got a text at 3:00pm saying my grandpa had slipped into a coma and that the nurse had given him 48 hours or less to live. I almost felt numb. I quickly got ready for work and Sean and I rushed over to my grandparents house to say our goodbyes. It was hard to see him in a coma. I couldn't stop crying. I sat next to him and told him over and over again how much I loved him. At one point he slightly turned his head and said, "I love you." Those were the last words I heard him say. I will never forget how it felt to hear him say that to me one last time.
Baby William with his Great Grandpa Major
I was able to get off work early and return to my grandparents house at 3:00am. I walked into the room to find my grandma fast asleep next to my grandpa. They both looked so peaceful and so much in love.
My grandma woke up and left the room. My twin and I sat next to him for an hour and rubbed his head and held his hand (grandpa loved his head massaged because he would get terrible headaches). We talked about our favorite stories of grandpa and how much we loved him. As a nurse, I was pretty sure he still had at least 12 hours left to live. So I left with saying "I love you" and went home.
My grandpa died just 6 hours later. He surprised us all. He didn't go through all the stages of death and decided to leave the world while none of the family was watching. I got to the house a half hour after his passing. Once again it was peaceful. My grandma was still at his side rubbing his head. I couldn't believe that he was gone. Impossible. He was 92 years-old. I thought he would live forever.
We had his viewing on a Sunday and my grandma wasn't ready to return to church. She called me frantically Sunday morning crying, "Trish, I can't find Linnea's phone number. I need to call her to wish her a happy birthday. Will you please find her at church and tell her for me." On all the days to worry about other people, she picked the day of her husband's viewing. I was only able to attend Sacrament meeting. I was too overwhelmed to stay much longer at church. But Sean found Linnea and wished her a happy birthday from my grandma. Sean said that she started to cry.
I didn't know who Linnea was until Sean described her to me. Just last month I had the opportunity of becoming her visiting teacher. I went and visited with her for the first time and discovered she was a single full-time working mom with 4 very difficult teenage boys and an 8-year-old girl. She talked to me about her struggles and hard times. On several occasions she said she was "barely making it by." I sat there thinking, "my grandma's message must have meant the world to her." I realized why my grandma was so concerned about wishing her a happy birthday. Once again I was amazed at the generosity and selflessness of my grandma.
My grandpa's funeral and viewing was beautiful. I had the honor of singing grandma and grandpa's favorite song at the funeral. It was so hard to say goodbye. All of the talks given were beautiful. Brother Easter gave a touching talk about how giving and loving grandpa was. The bishop told the story about how he came to know the Major's through Sean and me. He talked about how both Sean and I called them our grandparents. He was confused because they couldn't both be our grandparents. He later discovered that my grandma and grandpa may not have been Sean's blood relatives, but they treated him just as though he was. And that Sean loved them all the same because of their great legacy of acceptance and love. The bishop also came to realize that grandpa and grandma had adopted many others in the ward and loved them like family.
The burial was very emotional. The navy was there to salute grandpa and give grandma the flag of America.
I miss my grandpa. I am so excited to see him again along with my earthly father. He has etched a special place in my heart and it reminds me to love unconditionally. I don't understand why William never got to meet grandpa in this life. Perhaps it was because grandpa could watch over William as an angel. I know that when we bless William, my grandfather will be there.
I am grateful that my grandma is still close by. I love talking to her and seeing her twice a week. She and my grandfather have truly carried a legacy of selflessness and love. Sean and I hope to be half the people they are. Our son, William, is named after my grandpa's grandfather. I hope our son will not only carry a name in the Major family, but also their legacy.
