Why?

A couple nights ago, I woke up hearing William cry, "Mommy!" Not wanting Sean to wake up, I rushed in the room to see my sad and sick boy awaiting for my arrival. He was standing in the corner of his crib with his arms outstretched ready for me to save him from his anguish. I immediately welcomed him in my arms and held him close. I couldn't cure him from his cough and cold, but I gave him some Tylenol to make him more comfortable and sang to him as he drifted off to sleep in my arms.

At this perfect moment I began pondering about life. My son sleeps in a dark room, in a crib, with the door shut, and across the hall from his parents. We can only hear him through the baby monitor, but he can't hear us. He can't see us. He can't feel us. However, he had faith we were there. He believed I would listen. And he knew I would come to comfort him when he called for me. Even though he couldn't see or hear me, he still asked for his "mommy." Then he acted on that faith as he stood in the corner of the crib with his arms outreached ready for me to hold him.  

It occurred to me that perhaps this is similar to the relationship we have with our Heavenly Parents. We can't see them, or hear them, and they are not physically with us on earth. But we can talk to them and we can cry out to them and they hear us. They love us so much. They can't take away the sickness or pain we feel, but they will dull the ache with their everlasting love. They can't stop our anguish, but they comfort us when we are in need of comfort. 

What if we ALWAYS had the faith like a child who KNOWS and trusts in his parents? How much more would we be comforted? What would we learn? How would we live? Now it makes sense to me why Jesus would ask us to become like a child. 

There is something that is very different between these comparisons. William sees his parents in the flesh. He feels our touch. He hears our words. We don't get that exact same luxury with our Heavenly Parents. We have to use more faith and patience.

Most of the time I find my faith like a broken record. I always keep going back to the basics. I believe in a God and in His son, Jesus Christ. I believe He died and lives for us that we may be saved and comforted throughout this ugly frail existence. But sometimes everything else skips and blurs. Doubts fill my head. Questions go unanswered. And the more I see our wicked world, it is hard for me to have that faith, like a child, in my Heavenly Parents. 

Perhaps the biggest question I find myself asking is, "why?!" 

"Why" is a word we learn very young to seek understanding and make sense of basically anything. I have a thousand questions I want answered. Many having to do with my beliefs in my church and the tragedies that happen in life. 

Perhaps the key to finding joy in life isn't to get an answer to every "why?"  

President Thomas S. Monson said something this last conference, 

"When the pathway of life takes a cruel turn, there is the temptation to ask the question “Why me?” At times there appears to be no light at the end of the tunnel, no sunrise to end the night’s darkness. We feel encompassed by the disappointment of shattered dreams and the despair of vanished hopes...We feel abandoned, heartbroken, alone. We are inclined to view our own personal misfortunes through the distorted prism of pessimism. We become impatient for a solution to our problems, forgetting that frequently the heavenly virtue of patience is required." (2013 October General Conference, “I Will Not Fail Thee, nor Forsake Thee”, Sun. Morning Session - By  Thomas S. Monson).

Perhaps the key IS having patience. Patience is defined in the English dictionary as, "the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset." 

In our day, people inconsiderately honk at the car in front because they aren't driving fast enough. People will go into debt because they just can't wait for the newest iPhone or other products.We have teenage and unwed pregnancy and abortions on the rise because pleasure was more important than patience. Children grow-up in broken homes with broken families because parents find something more important like a new fling or that rush from a shot of alcohol or another substance. People bustle about in their lives finding ways to save time, make things faster, or better, and it all stems from impatience. So it makes sense to me why God has become so unpopular. People ask, "why waste time on some old school philosophy?" Questions to God can't be typed in a google space with an immediate return of thousands of answers. God doesn't send personal emails or texts to each of us. There is nothing about a "speedy delivery" system when it comes to revelation. So the majority of the human race chooses google over God, and they claim they have all the answers they need. 

Joseph B. Wirthlin wrote similar thoughts in the year I was born, "A certain amount of impatience may be useful to stimulate and motivate us to action. However, I believe that a lack of patience is a major cause of the difficulties and unhappiness in the world today. Too often, we are impatient with ourselves, with our family members and friends, and even with the Lord. We seem to demand what we want right now, regardless of whether we have earned it, whether it would be good for us, or whether it is right. Some seek immediate gratification or numbing of every impulse by turning to alcohol and drugs, while others seek instant material wealth by questionable investments or by dishonesty, with little or no regard for the consequences. Perhaps the practice of patience is more difficult, yet more necessary, now than at any previous time."

(Patience, a Key to Happiness, April 1987) 

In the case of these impatient people who reject God, I ask "why"? Why do you do the things you do? What is your purpose here? Why are those extra five minutes on the freeway so important to you? What will happen to you after you die? Why do anything or become anyone if in the end you just become a pile of bones in a hole? Why? Why? Why?

We do not always need to know the answers NOW! There is wisdom that comes with patience and enduring. As Elder Neal A. Maxwell said, “Patience is tied very closely to faith in our Heavenly Father. Actually, when we are unduly impatient, we are suggesting that we know what is best—better than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than his. Either way we are questioning the reality of God’s omniscience” (Ensign, Oct. 1980, p. 28).

I can't answer all the "why's" that people ask me or that I ask myself. But patience is beautiful and in time I will know the truth of all things. 

I don't understand much of anything. But I do know that "why" does not always lead to peace and happiness. "Why" is a powerful word, and it should be used to build and improve our lives. It should not be used to break down and destroy patience. 

I know that I have Heavenly Parents that love me. They long to take away all my burdens just as I long to keep William pain-free. But I can not blame the "why's" of the world on Them because they are simply at a distance. With time and patience, I will receive one clear answer to my question, instead of having to sift through thousands of google answers. 

William won't remember the nights he called for his mommy and the tenderness and love I had for him. He won't remember being wrapped up, cuddled, and comforted. But it doesn't mean that it didn't happen. As he grows he will forget these moments and allow doubt to enter his world. He will begin to question the actions of his parents like so many teens do. He will begin to learn all the different theories of life and he will not remember that perfect moment that he slept safely in his mother's arms. 

There have been moments in my life when I have felt the same peace and comfort from my Heavenly Parents. I do not always remember them, but it doesn't mean that it didn't happen. It is foolish of me to forget those moments just because I have an empty answer to a "why."

Oh if I could always have the faith of a child who didn't doubt his Heavenly Parents. Who patiently awaits for the comfort they can and will bring in times of trial. If I had that faith and patience, I would find peace as my sweet William did in my arms. That night as my thoughts were coming to an end, William began smiling and laughing in his sleep. My sweet son was comforted in his parent's arms, and at that moment, so was I.

It IS the Best of Times

We have absolutely love being parents! Everything about parenting has been such a joy and adventure. Well, perhaps not always a joy but certainly an adventure. William began walking at 8 and a half months and his mental and physical development have continued to wow me and Sean. He is developmentally more close to the age of 18 months. He says several words and even says small sentences, "go bye-bye." And also "no, don't". He can follow simple commands such as, "put that back in the garbage." He also comes when we call for him (I promise we treat our dog like our child, so treating our child like a dog isn't so bad...right?). He loves to grab a book and bring it to us saying enthusiastically "book!" and he makes a strong pronunciation of the k.

He climbs up anything and everything. He loves going to the park and at just 14 months old, he could go up the play gym steps, across the bouncy bridge, up some more steps, and then would sit down and go down the big slide all by himself.

 He also absolutely loves Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Every morning at 9:00AM he runs to the TV as        M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E begins. The other morning I had the Netflix screen on the TV with multiple pictures of different shows and William walked straight up to the TV and pointed to Mickey Mouse. I wondered if it was just chance, so I moved Mickey to another part of the TV and he found the picture again and pointed to it. He sure loves Mickey. This morning the TV wasn't on so he found the remote and tried to turn it on himself. He also loves to talk on the phone or on the vacuum extension part or anything that fits a phone's description. He knows how to plug and unplug just about anything. His vocabulary is rapidly expanding but he still says "mommy" when he is upset. Although our house looks like it has indoor weather patterns (such as twisters and raindrops from sippy cups or downpours from the water dispenser from the fridge), we wouldn't trade our guy for anything. 

Sean and I have enjoyed spending more time together since he has been home as a stay-at-home parent. School is going extremely well for him since he has been able to focus more on studying. We are hopeful that he will graduate Spring of 2015. After graduation, 2 more semesters for his MACC (Masters of Accounting) and then I hope to return to school to become a Nurse Practitioner. 

In the meanwhile we are hoping to begin our infertility journey #2. We have been unsuccessful with pregnancy the last year and so we decided to try medication again. When I am sick of seeing negative pregnancy tests, we will reopen our adoption file at LDS family services. It is amazing how Heavenly Father can heal a heart. We have been much more hopeful and at peace with our infertility. I know William is one in a million, but we have faith that we can have another one miracle (that includes through adoption). 

I am so grateful for the examples I have in my life. Two weeks ago, I was able to go with my sister and her spouse to take my niece up to BYU-Idaho for her first semester of college. My sweet sister, Rachelle, was recently diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I watched as she and her sweet husband, Paul, lovingly cared for their oldest child. I enjoyed how after more than 20 years of marriage, the respect and love they had for each other was astounding. I look up to them in so many different ways. 

Love these girls!

My Nursing Class Picture hanging in the halls at BYU-Idaho!

Sadie's new college room!

The bridge between the library and MC! Look at the new landscaping!

Cute family!

Saw this onesie at BYU-Idaho. Hahaha. I hope to buy one for our next baby.

I also had the privilege of hanging out with my best friend, Aimee Smoot Perkins. She lives in Idaho Falls and randomly texted me while I was in Rexburg. I called her and told her where I was and she came and picked me up to take me back to her apartment. We had a blast. I never get over how we won't talk or see each other for months, yet our friendship never dies. We always just pick up where we left off. I loved seeing her in her home with her children and enjoyed her company as I just accompanied her family from one event to the next including a dinner with the Elders Quorum presidency (and their families) and her girl's night. It was oddly hard to say good-bye. I wished we lived closer. 

We spent the second night with my aunt Carol in Pocatello, Idaho. I enjoyed many great flashbacks of memories while visiting with her in her home. We arrived past 10PM and as soon as we walked in the door, Carol asked if we were hungry. We were very hungry. All the sudden she had a full buffet on the kitchen table, including cut veggies, fruit, cheese, meat and all the fixings for a yummy sandwich. And sitting on the side of the table was a loaf of gluten-free bread. I grinned from ear to ear. I haven't visited in over 2 years, yet she remembered. And then she pulled out a carton of almond milk. I just laughed. She remembered my allergies and had gone shopping even though she didn't know we were coming until the day before. I just loved feeling the Spirit in her home. Below is a picture of the mirror in her bathroom. I love the quotes she reads and lives daily. 

Me and aunt Carol

William was so exhausted from our vacation that he tripped on Paul's foot and landed on the floor next to the garbage with his blanket. He decided he was so comfy there, he was just going to stay right where he was. He slept a good portion of the way back to Utah. 

It was an awesome vacation! 

Pamela and John came over Friday to our ward party and then stopped by at our house for a game night. We turned on Micky Mouse for the kids and enjoyed playing a game of Catan. We found Madelyn and William talking to one another. At one point William was crying and Maddie said, "It's okay Weeiam, don't cry." It was so cute!

Maddie resting her head on the shoulder of her best bud.

Before they left I was telling Pamela a story about Madelyn and Pamela pointed to her and said, "that's my little girl." Without hesitation Maddie pointed back and said, "and that's my mommy!" I absolutely love the time I get to spend with the Colby Clan. I am so grateful that they live close enough for us to spend time together all the time.

I also got the joy of going to the General Relief Society Meeting at the Conference Center with my mom, mys sisters, and my two aunts. I didn't get a picture, but my aunt Carol did so I'm hoping to get a hold of it one day. We had a blast going to Olive Garden and laughing over dinner. I admire those women more then they will ever ever know. Conference was amazing and I cried as the choir of Sister Missionaries sang "As Sisters In Zion." There is something about sitting in a place with thousands of women and feeling their love for each other and of God. I didn't want to leave.

Our journey as a married couple has had many great adventures. Our journey has also had many disappointments, heartaches, and hard work, but we continue move forward with faith and joy!

Well, that is about it. Life is good. 

William's Firsts

Written 2 weeks ago...

Today Sean let William play with my car keys. Sean went outside and shut the door behind him, so William tried to open the door with the keys.

Yesterday he tried to open the car door

He uses his little stool chair to move around which allows him to climb on things

Words, "Sorry" "soft" "Sean" "No" "Iona (fiona)" "Mommy" "Thanks" "dada" "night night" "go" and a whole bunch more of jibberish

He loves to plug unplug the vacuum and he just unplugged the computer while I am typing this and is trying to plug it back in.

He knows how to put the shapes in his shape box and he stacks the rings on his stacker. 

He likes to run.

He has seen us rake the yard and the other day he started raking it himself. He also moves the hose to water the lawn. He loves to play in the water. 

He likes to try and put on his own shoes. 

He knows how to wave good-bye to people when they are leaving and does this little backwards wave. He will also wave when he wants to go somewhere.

 He likes to try and fill up his cup from the fridge or hit it with objects to make the water flow out.

He can open and shut the drain to the tub.

He put Fiona's poop in his mouth.

He drags couch pillows into his bedroom to show he is ready for a nap. He loves to drag around his blanket or carry soft things. 

He likes to climb up anything and everything. 

He loves to make messes. 

He loves to feed Fiona behind our backs.

He loves dance to most any music that turns on, especially "Uptown Girl"

He likes to cuddle in the middle of the night when he wakes up. He loves soft things. He won't wear Pajamas that have long sleeves or footies.

He loves to play outside. He loves bathtub. Daddy taught him how to get water inside his rubber ducky and squirt it.

He loves to spray the spray bottle all over the house.

He loves to play fetch with Fiona...although he is still working on his pitch.

He is ticklish and loves to laugh.

He likes to help mommy and daddy especially with the dishes.

He hates getting his diaper changed because he hates holding still.

He likes books that play music.

He likes to clap his hands when he is proud.

We can't take him inside Sacrament meeting because he will not hold still.

He is a really happy kid but knows how to throw a temper tantrum when he doesn't get his way.

He is a finicky eater, picky at times but when he likes something he will shovel it down.

He is very determined, if he wants something, he WILL get it or at least do everything in his power to get it.

He loves to smile.

He loves his cousin Madeyln.

He loves tomatoes, unlike his daddy. And fruit.

He escaped from lens crafters in the mall and ran in front of PAC Sun where he danced to "play that funky music white boy"! people started gathering around and watching and smiling. Many commented on how cute he was.

The Real Riches in Life

As I was driving down the street to my home, I saw an old Asian woman walking beside a bike. She wore a traditional sun hat and dirty old clothes.

(This is a picture I found on google that would give you an idea of her appearance)

Attached to her rusted bike were six large garbage bags full of soda cans. Some bags were attached to  her handle bars and others to a small hitch. Two more were attached to the seat of the bike. I slowed down because I was curious about this woman. It was the day before trash pick-up and garbage cans lined the street. I made the conclusion that she was gathering cans to recycle for money. I watched as she struggled to get on her bike with the imbalanced weight of all the cans. She fell off of it the second try and began walking beside the bike as bags of cans would smack her legs. That's all I did, I just watched. I pulled into my driveway and walked into my comfy cool home. Immediately, I asked Sean for some cash so I could run and give some money to this woman. But we didn't have any cash handy and then soon I became busy with other things. However her image kept coming back into my head. Did she have a home? Is this how she supported her family? 

Recently I have been working two jobs while Sean works a full-time job and goes to school at the U of U. Our lives are, "hello" and "goodbye" to each other. William is tossed from one set of arms to another. We have worked and worked for our living. And we live well compared to most people. Especially that woman who was walking the streets sifting through trash. We have a home, two cars, food, air conditioning and our needs are met. We also have many bills that we are still working to pay but overall we have been blessed. However, at what expense? We can make ends meet, and we have some extra to use for wants. (Don't get me wrong, both of us do not work so we can have pleasures). I have learned everything has a price. Everything has a cost. What have these choices been costing our family?

That question has haunted me since the first day I took William to a nanny. Our lives since then have been tortourous. Always running, never together, and sometimes miserable. I discussed my concerns with Sean and he agreed but we didn't see much other options except for us to find better paying jobs so I could work less. We have waited and waited and we have prayed and prayed for guidance of how to cut down the burdens that were affecting our family.

We kept working week to week and we were taking things one day at a time. At the end of June, our wonderful nanny told us that she would be moving away to West Valley. This kind of jump-started our motivation to change our situation. We didn't want to send William to a daycare and we felt like we couldn't find anyone better than Ane for a nanny. We began looking for different options and we have made a decision very different than typical LDS families or any family. I accepted a full-time job at the hospital and Sean quit his job to be a stay-at-home dad and finish school full-time. This will allow us to spend more time as a family and it gives Sean more time to study. I'm excited to have time to spend together again! I will only be working three 12 hour shifts a week and I will get to be home the other days. The best part is that William will always be with a parent!

The image of the lady and the cans will always be a part of my memory. What are the real riches in life? A scripture in Matthew 6 says:

"19 ¶Lay not up for yourselves ^atreasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves ^bbreak through and steal:

 20 But lay up for yourselves ^atreasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor ^bsteal:

Our real treasure is our son, William. We intend to spend our time and energy on him and not on becoming "rich." I have been with many patients on their death beds and I have never heard a single one say, "I wish I worked more during my life." Or, "I wish I made more money." The one thing that I hear repeatitively is, "I wish I would have spent more time with my family." Sean and I do not want to live our lives with regrets. We do not want to return to Heaven and realize that we left all our riches behind and took our treasures for granted.  

From here on out when people ask our family what we do for a living, we will simply reply, "live!"

Happy Birthday, Sean C. Willardson!

My sweet husband turned 27 years-old today. As I have been thinking about what I want to do for his birthday, I decided I would write a post about the most amazing man in the world. My Hubby, Haun.
(Haun is Sean's nickname, I coined the term when we were dating because it mixed "honey" and "Sean" together)

In honor of his 27th birthday, let me tell you 27 things about Sean Willardson.

1. He is the most determined man I have ever met.

He was determined to serve and complete a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Ireland. During the last month of his mission he sprained his ankle so bad that he was on crutches. He could barely walk or ride a bike. His mission president wanted to send him home early and honorably, but he begged to stay. Even though he was in terrible pain, he finished his mission (his mission president told me this story in person).

Him and his favorite companion, Elder Gleave

I love this picture because you can see his gorgeous red hair on the top of his head. :D

His determination did not stop there. After he returned from his mission he went to BYU-Idaho. He was then determined to find a wife. Rejection was certainly not going to stop him. Three dates a week was standard for as he searched for his eternal companion. Even after all of those failed dates, he never gave up. He had his eye on me and once he knew I was the one, he was patient. When we first started dating, I took him with me to our summer home to vacation with my sister, Rachelle, and her family. We were gathered around the table playing cards and my sister said something pretty bold, "Sean, I'm surprised you are still around."

She did not necessarily mean it against him, she just knew how many guys I had dumped. His reply shocked us all, "Well I hope to be around forever."

What did he mean? Was he serious? Yes. He was determined.

That very same day he said "forever"

And he succeeded. We were married 8 months later.

Next on his list was a college degree. Although he worked and worked on school, he could never manage to get the grades he deserved. Although he was disappointed, he never gave up. We recently discovered he has struggled his whole life with Attention Deficit Disorder. Did that ever stop him? No. Even when I asked him to quit so that I could just "support the family" he said "NO!" He was recently accepted into the business school at the U of U. And although he absolutely hates the U of U, he is still absolutely determined to get that college degree. He is set to graduate the end of next year in accounting. He works 40 hour weeks than studies more than 20 hours a week and cares for William while I work nights. With everything on his plate, he has still been getting A's and B's. I am so proud of him! 

2. He loves children.

When we were first dating I asked him a valid question, "how many children do you want." His reply was simple, "ten."

I laughed. "Are you serious?!"

"I want as many children as I can possibly have. Of course I wouldn't expect my wife to give birth to all of them. We could adopt the rest."

Where did this guy come from? He was serious. He also said that he believed the father is just as responsible for changing diapers, feeding, and waking up with the babies in the middle of the night. That was something a man had never told me. He kept his word. He often gets with with William and tells me to go back to bed.

I grew to love him as I watched him play with my nieces and nephews. He immediately loved them and they loved him.

Summer 2008, my niece Abbi and Sean

Playing on the Swing Set

Happily babysitting my nephew on his 23rd birthday. I love this picture.

Same nephew the following year.

One of my favorite memories of him was when we went shopping with my little nephew for his two-year-old birthday. We got into the large Walmart and my cute tiny little nephew grabbed Sean's hand to show him his favorite toys. I walked behind as I saw this sweet tall 6'3 man lean to hold this little boy's hand. I was so attracted to him that later I just started kissing him in the middle of the aisle at Walmart (Jaden was well occupied with the toys). Moments later we heard my mom yell, "I saw that!" : D

One of the hardest days of our married lives was the day we learned we may never have biological children. I had never seen Sean so down and sad. Through his cries he sobbed, "We will still get our ten children, it just might be harder and take longer than we thought."

It cheered me up. I laughed and finally admitted, "I don't think I ever agreed to having that many children in the first place."

Watching him father William brings tears to my eyes as I am writing this blog. When William was born, he held him and cried. "Is he really ours? Is this real?"

I cried replying, "Yes."

So Proud.

William is his first priority. When he gets home from work, he finds me and William and immediately hugs and kisses us. Then he will play with William for an hour or so before he goes to studying. In the evenings if he puts William to bed, he doesn't ever want to actually put him in the crib. He will rock and sing him songs until William falls asleep in his arms. Often I just watch him through the crack of the door and smile.

Tomorrow is Father's day, and I truly believe William could not have a more loving father.

He is always silly and makes William laugh.

3. He is a romantic

Sean is all about the romance. When I had just made our relationship "facebook official," Sean wanted to take me to the hospital for my capstone in Idaho Falls on July 4th. I reminded him several times that I had to be there at 0545 which meant that we had to leave Rexburg just after 0500. He dropped me off in the morning and even walked me up to the pediatric unit. I was still confused as to why I was dating this guy. Later that day he texted me and said, "I want to take you to lunch when you are ready."

At my lunch break I ran out to meet him. He opened my car door and there on the seat was a pine cone (I picked a pine cone and gave it to him as we were on a walk several days before). Next to the pine cone there was a note that read, "Press play on the iPod"

Immediately the following lyrics played aloud,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3SnV_ZXzsw

From the moment I saw you

From the moment I looked into your eyes

There was something about you I knew,

I knew That you were once in a lifetime

A treasure near impossible to find

And I know how lucky I am to have you

'Cause I've seen rainbows that could take your breath away

The beauty of the setting sun, on any given day

And when it comes to shooting stars I have seen a few

But I've never seen anything as beautiful as you

If that wasn't enough, he grabbed my hand and began singing the song to me!

At the end of my break I returned to the hospital in a pretty deep daze. One of the nurse's looked at me and said, "Anne, are you okay?"

I sighed, "yeah, I just have a really weird boyfriend. He is not like any other guy I have dated before. I just don't think I like him as much as I thought I did."

"What happened?!"

I explained what he did and many of the nurses gushed, "I wish my husband would do things like that! Don't let that guy go!"

Apparently I was not listening because I broke up with him the next day.

Of course a week later I realized the nurse was right and well, you know the rest of our story.

Later that evening on the fourth of July watching fireworks.

During our courtship, I had never been so spoiled. He was constantly giving me flowers, stuffed animals, love letters and any gift that he thought I would like. Everyday, the first thing in the morning he would text me and tell me that I was beautiful. Every day. He would fix me dinners, take me for romantic walks and dates. One day I found a note in my make-up bag that said, "you don't need make-up, you are beautiful without it." He would say the cheesiest things like, "if you were a flower and I was the sun, I would only rise for you." Dating Sean was never ever dull.

After we got married, he still would come home with flowers or dinner, a favorite movie, candles, and I seriously can't recall everything. I finally told him that our budget couldn't survive that kind of romance. But he still finds other ways.



Made me dance in the street. Look at his face, he is so in love.

Bananagrams note

Flowers sent to my work on a bad day. (He picked the same flowers that we had at our wedding)

More flowers at work

Random card he bought saying, "I know it isn't V-day yet, but I couldn't resist"

Breakfast served in bed.

There has never been a doubt in my mind that Sean loves me. Unfortunately I don't have every single one of his cute thoughts or services documented in writing or picture. I will get emails through out the day with the simple phrase, "I love you." Texts that read, "I miss you." And love songs sung on my voice mail  Even when I could not possibly look uglier he looks into my eyes and says, "you are beautiful." I could go on and on with many more stories.

4. Compassionate

Sean is the most thoughtful and giving man I have ever known.

I had such a hard time the day my twin sister got married. I sat and texted Sean about how much I was struggling. He begged me to let him take a shuttle from Rexburg to Centerville that night just so I wouldn't have to dance alone at the wedding. Then he would return on the shuttle the next morning to be back at work by 0400. I was so snotty and said no.

However, he called my mom the next morning and asked for my address so he could send some flowers. She said, "Sean, don't waste your money doing that, we are leaving for a family reunion in a couple hours."

Once again he was determined, "I know, but the floral shop said they could have them there in an hour!" My mom was pleasantly surprised. 

My gorgeous flowers

The card read, "I wish you were here, but you're there. And there doesn't know how lucky it is."

While we were dating I had surgery on both of my ankles. The first time in August (newly coupled), he took time off work to care for me. When I came home from my surgery, he carried me upstairs to my bedroom. The first thing I noticed was that he had cleaned my room. That was a WOAH! He would carry me up and down the stairs during my recovery at my moms house. Made me food to take with my medicine. Changed my ice packs. How could a man be so gentle and loving? But he was. He would fall asleep next to me in a chair holding my hand. The antiseptic turned my foot green and I complained about my ugly toes. Later that day he returned from the store with nail polish and painted my toenails pink so they would be pretty again. :D

Picture of him carrying me while in my walking boot. And taking me out to dinner.

I had an interview with my bishop while I was dating Sean. I told him I wanted to serve a mission and I wanted to start my papers. The bishop changed the subject to Sean and asked, "did you know that every Sunday he volunteers to come early and pass the sacrament? And every Sunday he comes to my office and asks me if I need anything. I think maybe you better figure things out with Sean before you consider a mission."

During the Easter season before we were married, I got really sick with bronchitis. Sean showed up with a box of orange juice, a "get well" card, and a huge fuzzy Easter bunny. I smiled and asked him why he brought me a giant bunny. In all seriousness he said, "so you can cuddle with it when I'm not there to hold you." Although I never used it for Sean's intentions, it is still stuffed in a box in our basement. I figured we could give it to our kids one day.

I had always wanted a yellow lab. But Sean did not like dogs. However, he loved me more. He surprised me one day by taking me to see a batch of puppies. He let me pick the one I wanted. When she was old enough to take home, he stopped at Walmart first to buy some towels so she wouldn't have to be on the "hard surface of the dog kennel." How cute is that?!

One day he decided to take Fiona for a jog. He came home all sweaty and heaving. I asked him what happened. He had a really worried look on his face and said that Fiona had stepped on a thorn and her paw was bleeding. He didn't want her to hurt the rest of the way so he carried her several blocks back home. She must have been at least 40 pounds!

When I was pregnant I had the worst morning sickness. Sometimes he would fix me three different dinners to find something that wouldn't make me nauseous. There were many times I would wake up in the middle of the night vomiting and he would always clean the mess. One night I woke up and began vomiting in the bowl next to the bed. Sean woke up and held my hair back as I wretched my guts til there was nothing left. After I was finished he quickly took the bowl, cleaned it out, and returned it to my bedside. I began crying and Sean asked, "what is wrong?"

"I was throwing up so hard that I peed the bed."

Without any hesitation he escorted me to the couch, changed the sheets, and started the laundry.

I am pretty sure he is a better nurse than I will ever be.

His love and compassion is not just for me, but for his family, my family, his friends, and even my friends. I think he is pretty incredible.

Well, I guess I'll make the rest short and sweet.

6. His favorite color is green.

7. His favorite foods are rice pudding, ice cream, and pizza.

8. His favorite hobby is cooking! He makes our dinners several times a week. But he rarely follows a recipe. He likes to just mix things together and experiment with flavors (he is a good chef!).

9. His favorite thing to talk about is his mission in Ireland.

10. He loves cuddling.

11. He loves dancing.

12. Soccer is his favorite sport.

13. He bleeds blue (even though he goes to the U of U).

14. He is an amazing bowler and averages a 220.

15. He has a strong testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

16. He loves to read. His favorite series are The Will of Time. He read Pride and Prejudice in one day.

17. He is really good at trivia questions, especially Jeopardy.

18. He would love it if I let him drive a motorcycle (I think they are too dangerous).

19. He is always thinking of new ideas for about anything and everything.

20. He does the ironing in the house (I prefer to mow the lawn).

21. He loves The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, and Star Trek (classic nerd).

22. He is very stubborn.

23. He listens to classical, opera, Disney, pop, and country music. His favorite songs are Viva la Vida by Coldplay and the Queen of the Night's Aria from The Magic Flute.

24. He loves musicals and theater.

25. He has a fear of heights and for the most part he does not like roller coasters.

26. He still wants ten kids!

27. And just in case you did not know, he is mine for all eternity!!!

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!