Our Baby Bug

Baby Bug,

Your father calls me his "love bug," so I decided you must be our "baby bug."  Your father also frequently calls me his "cuddle buddy" or "cuddle bug," which would also accurately describe you growing in my uterus.  However, Baby Bug fits just right.  I have no idea how your dad came up with such funny terms of endearment, but I can tell you that we LOVE playing the slug bug game.  And I'm usually the winner! 

This week you are about the size of a cantelope!!  Crazy!

Although you can't be seen on a regular basis, you are heard every moment of the day.  At times my legs will go numb or I'll get a whiff of something unpleasant and begin gagging.  During these moments, I am reminded that you are there inside me.  I am reminded of the miracle of you. 

Daddy likes to kiss my belly and tell you that he loves you. On good days he'll kiss my belly and sing you one of his silly made-up songs. I guess he's trying to get you accustomed to his off-tone voice and his weird lyrics. But however weird they may be, they are a good ingredient to producing laughter.  The other effective ingredient of laughing at your dad's songs is sleep deprivation. You have already done a good job at causing me to get less sleep! With you putting pressure on my bladder, it's hard to get through any night of sleep without a trip or two to the bathroom. I understand that sleep deprivation will slowly get worse as you grow bigger and especially after you are born. However, do not fear! I have learned how to cope well without sleep thanks to nursing school and working night shifts.

In five days we finally get to take a good look at you. Your dad keeps saying, "the only thing I hope the baby inherits from me is my red hair and my height." But I hope you also inherit his compassionate heart and devotion. I keep wondering if you are a boy or girl. Sometimes I think I know you are a girl, but I remind myself that it's impossible for me to know right now. If your not a girl, you are going to have to help us come up with boy names. We really like the name, William, but some people are saying "William Sean Willardson" doesn't go well together. Plus I really don't like the idea of people calling you "Bill" for a nickname. Whoever you are, we will find the right name that will become you.

Recently you have probably met your great grandma Chapman and your great aunt Shirley. Both of these women have changed my life by their kindness and love. Although you may enjoy having them around, I miss them. I especially miss your grandpa Major, my father. I hope you get time to spend with him before you come down to earth. I've learned from these family heroes that life can end at any time. It can also completely change within a matter of seconds. Because of life's uncertainties, it's crucial that we hold strong to our faith and remember the great plan of salvation.

There is a song I heard on the radio by Carrie Underwood that really got me thinking about life and death. It's entitled "Temporary Home."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=if7CZF_ycWQ

The last verse is so poignant and I want to share it with you:

Old man, hospital bed,
The room is filled with people he loves.
And he whispers don't cry for me,
I'll see you all someday.
He looks up and says, "I can see God's face."

"This is my temporary Home
It's not where I belong.
Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through.
This was just a stop,on the way to where I'm going.
I'm not afraid because I know... this was
My temporary home."

This is our temporary home.


For the rest of your life you will be taught by your father and mother. You will hear stories with a moral, you will be caught in moments of teaching, and you will learn. It is your choice of whether or not you will follow those teachings. We hope you are wise and learn from our mistakes and not your own. You will still make mistakes, but you will always be loved. I know you are twenty-one weeks away from making your grand appearance, but I want to teach you a very important lessen before you arrive to live with us.

Even though you will be brought into a loving home with permanent parents, you will be living in a temporary home called Earth. Our real home is back to live with our loving Heavenly Father. Your purpose of coming here is so you can gain a body, be tested, and to be perfected through hard work and the atonement of Jesus Christ. As you seek to become like Him, you will one day be welcomed back into the permanent home of Heaven. This is a lessen you will be taught your whole life.  I want you to always remember it.

Your own daddy is someone who inspires me to be a better person. Your father and I are best friends. We constantly desire to spend time together. And we suffer when we have to be apart. We love talking, laughing, and goofing around. We plan to never be separated. Not here on earth and not in Heaven. He is the love of my life and together we plan on working hard to make Heaven our permanent home.

I want to testify to you that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true.  This life will not be easy.  In fact, I struggle all the time.  There are days where I just want to give-up.  But what keeps me going is knowing that I want to return to be with your grandpa Major, your great aunt Shirley, your great grandma Chapman, and my loving Heavenly Father.  I know that if I work hard, I can return to live with them and stay eternally united with your dad.

I pray that you will arrive into this world without complications. I pray you will have a safe and happy beginning. And although life can seem scary, your father and I will be with you always. And we will teach you the joys life can and will bring. Then together, as a family, we will all strive to live our lives so that we can be forever to live in a permanent home in Heaven.

Always remember you are loved.

I love you,

Mom