Our Red Sea Miracle

My mother has always taught me to believe in miracles, I just didn't believe that they happened to me.  On her own blog, my mother has dedicated a whole page to tell her stories about the miracles that have happened in her life.  I am going to kind of cheat and copy and paste the following words from her blog about red sea miracles.

"There are miracles in my life I call, “Red Sea Miracles.” God, through Moses, cast ten plagues upon the Egyptians to free them from slavery. When Pharaoh’s oldest son died in the last plague, he finally permitted the children of Israel to leave Egypt. But Pharaoh changed his mind and led his powerful army of chariots, horsemen, and foot soldiers after his slaves. The Israelites fled down a narrow canyon which ended at the impassable Red Sea and there was no possible escape for God’s family."

Imagine being there in front of that enormous Red Sea and hearing the raging army behind you.  There is nothing left to do but surrender and die.  However, God puts us in a place that seems impossible so He can show us His most wondrous work. 

The children of Israel began crying to the Lord.  "Because there were no graves in Egypt, hast thou taken us away to die in the wilderness (Exodus 14:11)?"

Moses listened to his people.  At this point he probably wants to smack them on the head.  They had already seen so many miracles.  Why were they questioning God's powers?  Yet Moses stood tall and spake saying, "fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will shew to you this day."

Then the miracle happens, "and the children of Israel went into the midst of the sea upon the dry ground: and the waters were a wall unto them on their right hand, and on their left (Exodus 14:22)."

That is a "Red Sea miracle."  It is a miracle that happens AFTER there is no other possible way except to see God's hand.

We were right there in front of the "Red Sea" of infertility.  We learned that it would take a miracle to begin our family.  And at times we were like the children of Israel.  We complained.  We murmured.  And at times we lost our faith.

After countless nights of discussions and prayer, we felt that we were ready to "let go" of our desires to be pregnant and begin our journey of hope through adoption.  We attended many meetings.  We set aside our funds for the adoption, and we were ready to accept the average wait of two years before we had a baby. 

It took us two months to finish our paperwork.  However, the bishop kept taking forever to fill out his part.  Once his part was done, we would give LDS family services our $1,000 non-refundable down payment towards adoption.

We kept calling LDS family services asking them if the bishop had sent our paperwork and each time we were disappointed. 

During the third week of October, while we were waiting for the Bishop, I was late on my period.  (I track my menstrual cycle down to the day, a habit of infertility)  After being three days late, I began to wonder if I was pregnant.  I expressed the thought with Sean and he angrily replied, "Anne, you have got to stop hoping you are pregnant.  We know that it is not possible."  

Having the powers of a wife, I convinced him to buy some pregnancy tests on his way home from work.  He reluctantly obeyed my will complaining that it was a waste of money.  I took the first test and it was negative.  Two days later I was still late and I took another one.  It was negative.  I was slightly heartbroken, but it was nothing new from the months of trying. 

Thursday, October 20th, Sean and I had a huge argument about infertility.  I expressed to him that I didn't want to wait two years.  I wanted to spend our money on IVF.  He did not agree.  He knew it was right for us to continue our course of adoption.  We went to bed mad that night (yes, we go to bed mad). 

Friday morning, October 21st, I woke up at 4:30am because I had to urinate.  This wasn't unusual for me, but my period still had not started.  There was one pregnancy test left sitting in the bathroom cabinet and I grabbed it.  The test went immediately negative and again I was heartbroken.  I threw it on top of the trash and I cried.  I sat there on the tub and brushed my teeth.  I was bored so I began reading the pregnancy test box.  The instructions said something that caught my attention, "wait 2-3 minutes before reading results." 

I glanced down at the pregnancy test in the garbage and it happened. The vertical line appeared.  I was pregnant.  I knelt down next to the toilet and began searching through the garbage.  I found the test I took two days before and it was positive.  I was pregnant.  I wanted to scream and shout and jump up and down but I was motionless.  I could not move.  After I got a hold of my emotions, I grabbed the tests and ran to our bedroom.  I flipped on the light and Sean began to groan.  "Sean, I'm pregnant."

Sean, quietly mumbled, "Anne, that is not a funny joke."

I showed him the pregnancy tests and he laid there motionless.  After minutes he was able to register reality and grabbed me for a big hug.  We prayed and cried and prayed some more.  A miracle.  Our miracle.

But the miracle didn't end there.  I knew we were a high risk pregnancy.  My doctor was out of town, so we called nearly every doctor's office in the valley.  Most offices would say, "congrats, we'll be happy to see you when you are 8 weeks pregnant."  I was desperate and frustrated. We prayed that somehow we could get in to see a doctor. 

There was one assistant who answered the phone and personally dealt with infertility.  She listened to our case and personally went and spoke with the doctor.  He fit us in his schedule for late that Friday afternoon.  The doctor did an ultra sound but it didn't show hardly anything.  However, he found a little tiny circle and said, "you might be pregnant."  (I didn't take a picture of our first ultra sound).  He said if we were pregnant, we were between 4-5 weeks.

Us waiting at the doctor's office

Our miracle worker who got us an appointment (yes, I am wearing my adoption shirt).

Our positive result in the doctor's office

Us sending kisses to our baby (yes, we look retarded)

Because of my family history, I knew I was high risk of miscarrying.  I expressed my concerns and the doctor ordered some progesterone.  He told me that it would keep me pregnant whether or not there was a baby.  Sean and I were willing to take the risk.  We celebrated that day by taking the day off work, watching movies and going out to eat.  We knew that a miracle pregnancy may never happen again.

The doctor continued to do blood work on me for two weeks.  He carefully measured my hormones and progesterone levels and sure enough they were very low.  If we hadn't seen the doctor that Friday, I would have miscarried.  Our pregnancy was high risk and so the doctor saw us every two weeks until he could see the placenta growing.  Starting at week 6 we saw cardiac activity.  I cried. 

Week 6

 Weeks 8 and 10.

Week 8

Week 10 (you can kind of see it's feet on the right side)

We are now 12 weeks and we are in our second trimester.  There still may be complications, but we have witnessed a Red Sea miracle. 

My grandma who died  just months ago heard my words. Just moments before she passed, I whispered in her ear, "Grandma, I love you and I'm going to miss you.  Please send us a baby."  My grandma was a very hard worker.  I'm sure after she rejoiced and toured heaven, she immediately went to work on finding us a baby.  I have no doubt in my mind that my grandma, my aunt, and my daddy, who are all in heaven, helped send us this miracle.

And to all of you that will ask me, "have you been sick?"  The answer is YES!  I have been extremely sick.  However, I am entirely grateful to be sick (most of the time).

Our next appointment is December 23rd.  Keep us in your prayers.  We don't have medical insurance and there still may be complications. 

However, we have witnessed a Red Sea miracle. 

To my dear friends who are still struggling with infertility,

I wrote the following to my friend and I wanted to share it with all of you.

"God has a plan. And it totally stinks that you can't see into the future and know what His plan is. I know that infertility is heart-wrenching and a miserable trial. Sean and I pray for all our friends struggling with infertility every night. Somewhere out there, there is a spirit waiting to come into your home.

There is no easy answers. And I wish I could cure your problems. But I do know miracles happen whether in the form of adoption or an impossible pregnancy. It's just a matter of timing (which can be the most torturous of all)."

We love you all and thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

Love always,

Sean and Anne