The Miracle of Birth

In four days, it will be three months since William was born. I realized yesterday that I haven't blogged about any of the last three months. But most importantly, I haven't blogged about William's birth story. Blogging is my only journal, so it is time to catch up!

After anxiously waiting 41 weeks, the doctor was finally ready to induce me. I was supposed to go into the hospital the night of June 28th, but the nurses neglected to call us. We waited and waited some more. I had never been so miserable. My back was in excruciating pain. I couldn't lay down because I had terrible reflux that caused my throat to burn. I didn't like sitting because my legs would swell. So we bought a nice recliner that gave me a little bit of relief of all my symptoms. After waiting several hours for the phone call, we decided to call them at 1900 hours and let them know I was supposed to be induced that night. They said they were too busy for us and that we should try calling back around 2200 hours. I began bawling my eyes out. How much longer was I going to have to wait? I literally felt ready to explode. But I reminded myself of those who dealt with infertility and were still waiting without any knowledge of when their baby would come. This gave me comfort and I felt grateful. However, I was exhausted. I hadn't slept in over 24 hours and I just  wanted to hold my son...and get a nice dose of pain medication. 

My twin sister, Pamela, discovered that we were stuck waiting for the hospital and she felt terrible. I babysat her one-year-old daughter earlier that day, so she saw how miserable I was. She came over to our home and brought us banana splits. We talked and laughed about the situation and watched food network channel. At 2230 hours, we called the hospital and they told us to call them again in the morning. I was so furious. I finally called the doctor and told him that I was concerned. I hadn't seen a doctor since I was 39 weeks pregnant and now I was a week overdue. He told me to come into the hospital anyway. 

The nurse's were terrible to us. They were so mad we came to the hospital when they already had a busy night. We didn't care. They hooked up the monitor and noticed that I was already having contractions. The doctor wanted to keep me over night to keep a close watch and then eventually induce me in the morning. They gave me some medication to ripen my cervix and left me to wait...again. 

Sean fell asleep on the little bench beside the bed. By this time it was 0100 on June 29th. I sat and watched the monitor and the waves of contractions. No wonder why I was feeling so miserable! The contractions began to get more and more intense and just like the movies, I squeezed the handle of the bed like I was holding on to dear life. I watched as Sean slept and I grimaced through each contraction. I had to go to the bathroom every 20 minutes due to all the fluid the nurse was pumping into me. I felt like I would never get any rest.

Finally around 0330 it became so unbearable that I called the nurse. I grunted through the pain, "I think I'm ready for some pain medication."

She said, "I was wondering when you would call, I have been watching your monitor and you have been having really strong contractions for about an hour.

I was confused, "I was?"

She replied, "Yea, you are in labor, what did you expect?"

I didn't realize that I was in labor. No one told me I was officially in labor. I thought I was just having small braxton-hicks contractions and that I was a wimp! After two useless doses of Fentanyl, I finally gave in to an epidural. In my mind I was thinking, "how does any women have a baby naturally?!" 

I finally yelled and awoke Sean at around 0500. I told him the anesthesiologist was on his way to place the epidural. Sean acted surprised, "wow, you didn't wait very long to get the epidural." I looked at him dumbfounded. He had been sleeping for the last 3-4 hours! He didn't see the pain I was enduring. He saw the look on my face and quickly apologized. The nurse checked me after the epidural was placed and I was dilated at a 4. 

Sean massaged my aching back and we continued to wait. However, I was much more comfortable with the epidural. The next time the nurse checked me at around 0700, I was dilated at a 5. We waited some more and then I started feeling intense pressure. I called the nurse at around 0900 and I was dilated at a 10. She called the doctor and told me we were ready to start pushing. I panicked. My sisters were not there and neither was my mom. I was not ready! Ironically I asked them if we could wait.

My family finally got there, but then the doctor was busy. We waited some more until about 1050.

The doctor finally arrived. We had made our guesses at this point at how big William would be. The doctor guessed 7lbs. No one thought he'd be above 8lbs. But I knew different. I felt him jabbing me in the ribs and pressing on my bladder, I knew he was big. I guessed 8 and a half lbs.

I started pushing. Even though I had an epidural, I could feel my flesh ripping as William began to emerge. I was ready to be done. 41 weeks. I was ready to be a mom. I pushed with all my strength. I had been awake for about 48 hours. But I pushed.

Doctor Thackery said he could see the top of his head. I asked, "does he have hair?"

 

The doctor replied, "it looks like he has dark colored hair."

My sister shouted, "it's not red hair?! Quick, put it back! Maybe it will come out red later." 

We all laughed.

William's head began to pop through, and I heard my mom saying, "Sean, are you alright? Do you need to sit down? I looked at Sean and he was whiter than normal, almost like a ghost. He kind of collapsed into the chair.

Sean replied, "just started blacking out." My mom took his spot by my side.

At 1114, William was born. I couldn't be happier.

 

When I saw him laying on my belly, I just laid there in awe. I starred at him. How could it be that a baby so large could grow from just a tiny egg in nine months? He was perfect. He was absolutely perfect. Ten little fingers. Ten little toes. A chin dimple. He was mine. He was my son. My sweet William.

Sean was able to compose himself and cut the umbilical cord. 

 

 

I just kept starring at him. My miracle.

 

 

Born on June 29th, 2012 at 1114 - 8lbs 6oz, 20.5inches.

 

The moment came and went faster than I wanted. I wished I could just freeze the moment. Stop time and soak in the joy that pierced my heart. All at once, my life held more meaning than ever before. I existed for a reason, to raise a precious son, my precious boy. The love that I felt for William was stronger than any love that I had ever felt. I know it is cliche, but words really can't describe that one moment in time.

As I write this post, I am watching William sleep. Part of me yearns to go back to that joyous moment and relive its excitement and joy. He sleeps so peacefully.

Perhaps the one word that can describe that single moment is "miracle." William began as a tiny fertilized egg and grew to a complex machine that will become an independent human being.

The picture below is William when he was 6 weeks old.

And he became this miracle. Our miracle.
 

I stare at his tiny hands, his beautiful eyes, his cute smile and all I can think is "science can't create or explain this phenomonen. It is simple, there is a God and He is our creator. "

I want to end this blog post with quotes from perhaps my favorite devotional of all times:

 "If you wish to observe a miracle, look at a baby’s creasy hand. Its initial movements are uncontrolled. Shortly after birth it will be able to grasp, curl, push, lift, sense hot and cold, respond to pain by withdrawal, heal itself, display great strength or extraordinary sensitivity. These hands will be used thousands of times each day without aforethought."

 

 

"The doubter requires too much of us when he asks us to believe that the miracles of eyes and hands and DNA and order in the universe all happened by chance. The passage of time, even long intervals of time, is not a “cause” and provides no answers without an intelligent designer."

"The evidence of God’s existence is everywhere: in every newborn babe, in every system, part and parcel of the unending, and orderly universe, including our own bodies. He is evidenced in every sunset, work of art and passage of music, all of which He has provided to gladden the heart and bring beauty to our lives."

 This last quote sums up the experience of witnessing the birth of my son.

“Sometimes when I’m faced with an unbeliever, an atheist, I am tempted to invite him to the greatest gourmet dinner one could ever serve and, when finished eating that magnificent dinner, to ask him if he believes there’s a cook” (Paul Kengor, God and Ronald Reagan [2004], 302)."

I KNOW without a doubt that there is a God, He is our Father and Creator. I know that as I look at my precious William- there is a plan. A Plan of Salvation. A plan that is so perfect that it could only be designed by One who is perfect. I don't have all the answers to life's questions. I do not understand many things about this world. There are things that I will never understand in this lifetime. But there is one thing that I do understand, "Our God is God."


To read more from this devotional, click the link below.
Our God is God
Elder Douglas L. Callister
http://www2.byui.edu/Presentations/Transcripts/Devotionals/2005_11_08_Callister.htm