Changed for the better

Sean had asked me to marry him.  I was thrilled!  But there had to be contingents upon accepting his proposal.  1) We'd live in Utah near my family.  2) We'd see Wicked every year of our marriage. 

He knew I wasn't joking.

Finally, after 25 months of marriage, he paid me my overdue allowance.  We journeyed up to Boise, Idaho to see my favorite musical.  I loved watching Sean's face as the show progressed.  He'd laugh and he'd smile. 

During intermission I asked him if he was enjoying the show.  He replied, "I've never had my hair stand up on my arms during a play."  I smiled and was excited to know he was enjoying himself.  He didn't like Lion King, so I was a little worried.

At the end of the musical two very different girls, who happen to become best friends, sing a duet.  As the musical continued, I was swept away in a load of memories...

I was sobbing so loud, I couldn't hear her voice...but then familiar music began to play. 

"I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason."

My sobs simmered as I listened to my best friend sing along with the lyrics. 

"Bringing something we must learn and we are lead to those who help us most to grow if we let them, and we help them in return." 

We were in the back of her family suburban.  Her mom was driving us to the mall to help us pick out prom dresses.  I had just discovered my nephew was dying.  And to make matters worse, my prom date was dating another girl.  And all I could do was cry.

"Well I don't know if I believe that's true."

She held me firmly and carefully sang each word.  I felt safe.  I felt peace. 

"But I know I'm who I am today because I knew you."

But I didn't know for sure if she meant the words towards me.  We had been through a lot together.  Best friends on and off since 6th grade.  She knew me better than the back of her own hand.  But did she feel what she sang?

 "Like a comet pulled from orbit, as it passes a sun."

I flashed forward to her wedding day.  For me, my best friend was getting married.  But to her, I was just another friend.  I pretended it wasn't a big deal.  But after three missed calls from her cell phone, I figured I should probably answer.  "Where are you?!"  I didn't know she wanted me at the temple after the ceremony.  She wanted pictures taken with just me and Pamela, "the triplets." 

I sat there and watched her wedding video at the luncheon.  Surrounded by her other friends, I didn't feel very important.  A picture came on the screen and I smiled.  There was a picture of just the three of us in high school.

"Like a stream that meets a boulder, halfway through the wood."

Although she had hundreds of friends from high school, we were the only ones in her wedding video.  I thought, "I guess she did care."

"Who can say if I've been changed for the better?"

Flash forward again.  Aimee was home from Texas, I was home from college.  We laid on her bed like we had so many times in the past.  We reminisced of our years together as friends.  We laughed and laughed as story after story was told.  I wanted to ask her why.  Why did she ever care to be my friend?  She was popular.  Had talent.  Was beautiful.  But I was just a plain nobody Jane.

"But because I knew you"

A day later, we were sitting in my car in the driveway of her old home.   I finally gained the courage and asked her in a solemn voice. "were you really my best friend, or were you just pretending to be nice?"

She looked at me and smiled.  "Trish, I never really cared about the madrigals, or about being popular.  I always hated trying to be 'perfect' for others.  But you and Pamela knew I wasn't perfect and loved me anyway.  You were my best friend because life had made you real.  You didn't care about money, popularity, and looking perfect.  You were just you.  And you changed me for the better.  Trish, you are my best friend and I love you.

"I have been changed for good."

I began to cry. 

I thought about all the other friends who had been so devoted to my life.

During my darkest hours in high school, I had friends who would come over to my house on the weekend and force me to hang out with them.  They'd practically dress me. Push me out the door.  And take me out for the evening.  I never knew why Carly, Candace, Synthia, Rehni, Stacy, and Jess cared so much, but they continued to do it week after week.  Nearly every weekend in the next three years, we were always together.  They were my only friends in high school.  After nine years of friendship, today they still buoy me up.

"It well may be, that we will never meet again in this lifetime."

I thought about my close friends from college. There have been so many that had impacted my life.  Memories of my friends kept coming.

Jenny was my very first friend from BYU-I

                                    
                        Jenny introduced me to Kenzi.  We were tight.  We graduated together.

"So let me say before we part"

                                                       Elissa was my first roommate.

"So much of me is made of what I learned from you."

Amber, a good friend and roommate.

"You'll be with me, like a handprint on my heart."

                            Pacha was more like a big sister, another roommate and college friend.

"And now whatever way our stories end"

Ashley is still a best friend today.  We lived together for 9 semesters.

"I know you have re-written mine by being my friend..."

 

                                    Tara.  I love this girl.  Another best friend from college.

"Like a ship blown from its mooring by a wind off the sea"

                                              

Heather, another adopted sister.  She has taught me SO much.

"Like a seed dropped by a skybird in a distant wood."

                                                The Oler girls.  Great friends from college.

"Who can say if I've been changed for the better?"

Andrea was my best friend from nursing school.  We were ALWAYS together.

"But because I knew you I have been changed for good."

                                           Natalie, another good friend from nursing school. 
                                                  This girl ALWAYS makes me laugh.

"And just to clear the air, I ask forgiveness,
for the things I've done you blame me for..."

                                                      Stacy and I were instant best friends. 
                                                       She was my roommate fall of 2007. 
                                 We were pretty much attached at the hip for the rest of college.

"But then, I guess we know there's blame to share."

                                                 Sam, another close friend and roommate.

"And none of it seems to matter anymore"

                                                 Kayla and Jenny Baker.  My adopted sisters.

                      Vivian, a God-sent friend when I needed one in the end...of nursing school

Sharla and Melissa along with my other close friends.

My close Jr. High friends.

                                 Jamee was Aimee, Pamela, and I's little sister in High school

I don't have a picture, but I also wanted to talk about my friend, Kim, who oriented me at my work.  She soon moved into the ICU, so we didn't work together as much anymore.  However, I have come to love her so much.  She has become another very close friend.  I am so glad she came into my life.

                                              Marianne is my newest friend from my ward. 
                                     She and Eric babysat Fiona so we could go see Wicked. 
                                       She and I continue to become closer friends.  I love it.

Friend after friend streamed through my mind.  Friends that I have listed here, and more friends else where. 

"Because I knew you...I have been changed-for good."

The scene had ended.  Starting as a lonely ugly girl in high school, my best friends gave me confidence.  And throughout college, God kept adding more to my batch.

And thanks to all my friends, I can honestly say that I have been changed...FOR GOOD.



A Chug and a Clunk...

Chug chug chug, CLUNK! Dead.  Chug, chug, buzzzzzzz, CLUNK! Dead. 


These are the noises that birthed my frustration...
Seven months was WAY overdue!!!


Our entire yard had weeds and grass grown 14 inches tall!

Our mighty kingdom was overthrown by weeds.  They murdered the King lawnmower, and began a war between nature and nurture (Darwin would be happy).
We, "the survivors," were ready for a fight.  After purchasing new artillery from the manufacturers of RC Willey, the battle got bloody.  The weeds stood tall and shameless. Again and again, they'd kill the engine (luckily the machine had 129 lives).  But with my might of steel and the strength of an ox, I'd force that baby back to life (I'd be a good solider).  The mower would chug, and I would puff.  The mower would puff, and I would pout.  My hands began to blister.  Every foot of progress, I had to lift the mower and let it spit out the dead.  My thumbs began to bleed (I told you it was bloody).

 
And just when I ran out of strength,
the reinforcements arrived...(AKA Sean)



Sean came out to finish the battle.  Patches of enemies remained, but they were no match for the mean, red, chopping machine (both Sean and mower).   I stayed behind enemy lines to document yet another adventure of our lives.

It is not the greatest lookin' back yard, but it works.  And hey, it's no longer a jungle.

The parable of this post...

  Restart, try, restart, try, and restart again...do your best and He'll help you finish the rest.