The things I've learned while swallowing gunk...

Well, it's 3:32 AM and I cannot sleep.  So I tumbled out of bed and came into the office to do some reading and soul-searching.  Recently I've had a nasty sinus infection.  It has been quite entertaining swallowing what feels like molasses poured down my throat, and enjoying the feeling that my ears are about to explode off my face.  Mornings like this morning I cannot help but think how interesting it is to live in this day and age.  I am so SPOILED!

The Consistency of my gunk...

The three things I have learned while swallowing gunk. 

3) Monk is a great TV show
2) I have a wonderful twin sister that is hilarious
1) I have an amazing life!
That concludes this post.

A profound Christmas with Voice Male

This year I wanted to go to a Christmas concert, and I chose to go see Voice Male.  We had front row seats at Abravanel Hall in SLC and we could see every facial expression of the singers. 

Voice Male from our view.

Voice Male from their view.  They stopped in the middle of the show to take
this picture on a camera that one of the members set up himself.  They have this posted
on their website.  If you look close, Sean and I are on the front row
on the bottom right hand side.



 

I sat on the stage for a picture during intermission. :D

The Christmas spirit at the concert was incredible. The group was emotional and inspirational as they shared their testimonies of the birth of Jesus Christ and how He is the King of kings and Lord of lords.  As they sang "Silent Night" the lead singer got choked up on the words.  The  other voices continued to sing and with a trembling voice, he cried, "please sing this with me."  The whole audience sang together about the birth of Jesus Christ. 

One of members of Voice Male named Phil, died this year from cancer. Nearly the entire concert was about memories of him and how Voice Male will see him again because of the "tiny little baby born in Bethlehem." 

When the concert was nearly over, John, one of the singers announced, "I'd really like to dedicate this last song to Phil.  I miss him.  And I know he's here for Christmas.  His wife is here tonight and I'd like to express my love for her husband.  Please, let's everyone give this courageous man a round of applause."  It was only seconds when the audience stood up in a wave.  Every single body in the entire concert hall stood, faced the widow, and clapped.  For minutes, the audience clapped and cheered for this man. 



As I was in the moment, I could not help but think of my own father who died of Cancer 11 years ago. 

My father holding me as a baby in 1987

I could see an image of his face in my mind.  Tears rolled down my cheeks as I thought of him.  My father also died of cancer.  I still do not understand why my father had to die when he did.  I do not understand why Phil died when he did.  They were both so young.  But I do understand why Christ died when He did.  Our King, born in a manger, died on a cross with a crown of thorns.  He came to earth to be the Savior of all mankind.  And yet during His death, only a few stood too honor Him.   This Christmas, I am grateful for Christ's birth, His life, and His death because it is what will allow me to see my earthly father again.  I am grateful for the temple that allows us to make sacred covenants and binds our families together forever.  Let us stand up this year, remember, and applaud for this Man..

Voice Male interrupted my thoughts and began to sing their last song, "I'll be Home for Christmas." I could hear my  dad sing the words in his off-tune voice, "I am dreamin' tonight of a place I love. Even more than I usually do. And although I know it's a long road back, I promise you, I'll be home for Christmas."

My daddy will be home for Christmas.  Although his physical body is not here to sing Christmas hymns and photogragh its memories, his spirit will be felt, and he will be missed.

The irony is my daddy will be home for Christmas, home in Heaven.  

It is not cliche, please keep Christ in Christmas. And remember that it was His birth that will allow us to go "home" for Christmas and be with those we love most.

I love you, dad. 

Patricia Anne Major 

 

A Tribute to a Man I Never Met

11 years and 10 days ago in the hours of the morning my father-in-law passed away. I didn't know him and was never fated to meet him in this life. What an opportunity missed. I have never heard anything but great things about this father I never met. I know he was kind, thoughtful, caring, and absolutely deeply in love with his wife.

My memories of this wonderful man stem from the many compliments that I have received. Most of you find that sentence puzzling. As you should.  There has often been times where an action, word, or something I have done has been said to serve as a reminder of this man, Kenneth Major. I am admittedly ashamed of the mixed feelings I had about these compliments. I have come to realize I could receive no high respects from his children and his wife.

Let me tell you what I know about this selfless and kind man. He was a great carpenter. He was able to fashion bookshelves, cedar chests, headboards, and many other items to give to his children. This man built his own house and did much of the requisite electric work. As I remember it, the electrical inspector came and said it was better then most work that he has seen. This came from a Junior High electrical class. When he was in Junior High he rigged a bell to ring whenever his parents were coming down the stairs to check on them. They never found out until later in life. How amazing is that. He is so talented.

He served in many positions in the Church as an active and faithful member. From the testimony I have seen in his children, I know he has a strong testimony. He was a faithful and true believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. A man who was and is an example of charity and kindness towards his family.

One day I will meet this man. I hope one that when I do meet him. He will approve of me as his son-in-law. That I can measure up to such a wonderful example that he has given. Only time will tell. Until I express my deepest respect and love for a man I never met.

Dad, may I just say thank you for your wonderful Family. Thank you for allowing me to marry your wonderful daughter. A precious Jewel above all others. Thank you.

Dad, I haven't met you yet, but I love you.

Sean Cristian Willardson

not much awake, and not much asleep

So it is Thanksgiving day in twenty minutes and it'll probably be Thanksgiving day by time I finish this post.

Wow.  I am so exhausted.  Work was really hard on me today.  I can't stop thinking about several of the patients that I have had in the past year.  My life is so much better then their lives, and yet I always find something to complain  about. 

However, tonight I am feeling kind of down.  It's been a great year, but it has definitely had its trials.  Tonight my heart aches for a baby.  I wish we could start a family.  I can't imagine how Elizabeth of old felt during all the years that she was barren.  Or my sister who has lost two babies after birth and has had several miscarriages. 

But tonight my heart just aches.  I feel as if a spirit is missing from our family.  As if my life is just full of work and play but has no real rewards.  I know I will be able to bear a child one day, but the waiting has just been so hard these last couple months.  Part of me wants to give into fear and proclaim my doubtful soul. 

In two weeks I'll be getting my second MRI to see if my tumor is growing or has staid the same.  I am so nervous.  It was a miracle though, the worker that registered me for the MRI talked about how she had the same tumor twenty years ago.  And though it took her seven years to get pregnant, she now has two beautiful girls. 

I keep telling myself of these miracles.  I keep trying to focus on all the gifts that God has already blessed me with.  I must let go and say, "nevertheless, not my will but Thine be done."

I don't know if anyone reads this blog.  Part of me wishes someone would hear my cries and see my pain.  The other part of me hopes this blog is ignored for the fact that my true character is showing on the day that is supposed to be about giving thanks.  Yet here I am, hurting and complaining.  And so, for the next two weeks I will do my best to draw a smile on my face, put a skip in my walk, and sing a song of joy.  I know this is possible because of two women of whom I love and admire.

The first one is my Aunt Shirley.  She has battled cancer for more than a year and a half now.  Not only is she a survivor, but she is a winner.  I love her attitude in life and how she gets out of bed anyway even though the day may be dreary and painful.  She is my hero. 

The other person happens to be a coworker of mine.  Her name is Brea and she is only 27 years old.  I remember several months ago when she confided in me.  She told me that a lump had grown in her breast and that she had it removed.  She expressed her fears of cancer and other complications.  I listened.  I was worried for her, but naturally I expected the best.  It was only two days later that I had received the news that Brea was positive for breast cancer.  My heart sunk.   Out of all my coworkers, she seemed to be the sweetest, the most caring and forgiving nurse on the unit. How could she be the one to have to suffer such horror and heartache.  And not only did she have to suffer the diagnosis, she suffered it as a single mom of two girls.  Last night I saw her at work.  Perky and happy as ever, she bounced in an hour early to relieve us day workers.  Her head was completely bald.  Despite the chemotherapy and other treatments Brea endures.  Although she is immunocomprimised, she continues to work on a floor full of infections and diseases.  Her head is held high as she douses her hands with alcohol and treats patient after patient when she herself is a patient somewhere else. What a person.  What a woman.  What an angel. 

As I think about things I am grateful for today, these two women are on the top of my list. 
I'm also grateful for this blog.  Now that I have expressed some feelings of my heart, perhaps I will be able to sleep.

We Love Her, We Love Her Not...

Fiona has been great joy, but at the same time she has tried and tried our patience.  Day after day it is something new.  Yesterday I got a lovely call from my neighbors saying that Fiona came over for an uninvited visit.  Today I found this...

Chewed off plug to the vacuum.

 There has also been other great deeds she has brought to our lovely house.  Allow me to display her fine work!!

My lovely massage chair...plug chewed off.

Our new kitchen wall...has a new hole.

A fabulous texture added to the door molding of our guest bedroom...

And a not-so-new look to our new table...and on all four chairs.

So you may ask why we still have her...

Because of this...

And this...





Kitchen Remodel: The almost finished product...

The Almost Finished Product: PIC SNEAK PIC

Still need to tile the backsplash...that is why it is not painted...

So our lovely kitchen was flooded when the pipe leaked from the sink.  Insurance was going to come do all the work in three days and make it the way it was before the damage.  However, it would cost us a deductable of 500$ and we didn't want laminate again, we wanted tile!  So what did we do?!  We said, "give us the money and we'll do it ourselves!"


Before the flood....







After the flood....

Fiona, our surveyor!



I had to crawl up in the attic to find out if the ceiling fan would be stable enough up top. 
Yeah...look at all the mounds of insulation.





Don't worry, I geared up!!

Laying the backer board...


The ALMOST Finished Product!!!


Almost Finished Product!!



Still haven't nailed the laminate back under the cabinet. 
Also we are still planning on tiling the backsplash. 
Hence the reason why it is not painted. Hopefully this week!

 

Notice the holes in the wall by the entrance...compliments of Fiona.



Our beautiful tile!






Some love and relaxing in the hot tub!!

I suprised Sean by writing all over our sidewalks with chalk.

It reads both ways! : D

Then we went to Sean's mom's house and relaxed in the hot tub with Sean's niece and nephew.

Ahhhhhhhhh......

I'm grateful for hot baths and hot tubs!!!!!

the Haunting after Halloween!

Yesterday morning I was taking a bath and relaxing before I had to head out to work.  Fiona decided she'd try to do some relaxing for herself and laid down on top of the heating vent.




Heating vent.  The door is the entrance to our bathroom.



 My relaxation rudely ended when I heard a....

 CRASH, CLUNK, CLINK, SCREEEEECHH, THUMP!

I quickly got out of the bathroom and was suprised to see that the vent in the floor was missing!


  I followed the sound into the kitchen and found Fiona cowering on her bed looking like this....

Of course I thought it was absolutely hilarious!  She was scared to death and whinning because she had a vent following her!  Somehow while she was lying on the vent, her dog tags got stuck and she pulled it right out of the floor!  Then she dragged it across the kitchen floor, and trying to get shelter, she ran to her bed and whelped for help! 

Of course I deattached her, laughed, and went back to my bath.  But it was so amusing that I had to reenact it.  I attached it to her collar again and set her up for these pictures. 

Sean was upset that I put her through the torture again and kindly released her.

The story made my day!  I laughed all day about it at work, and I even shared the story with a coworker.  She didn't find it as amusing, but I guess it was something you just had to be there for.  :D